Astrid’s cracks turned to fractures, tears glinting her lashes. A dagger, shaking in her hand. “It hurt, Fi. It hurt so damnmuch when you left. Ithurtwhen Verne held me under the water.”
A tear spattered Fi’s cheek. She didn’t flinch, couldn’t move as Astrid crumbled atop her. Her friend, used and broken by Verne, like so many others.
“Why?” Astrid shouted. “After all this time. Why? Why can’t I…” Her dagger fell limp. She slumped with it, tears staining her cheeks. “Why did you leave me, Fi?”
She was still there. Burning eyes, scar-etched skin, but it was stillAstrid. Fi reached out one trembling hand, soft on Astrid’s arm.
“Astrid… please…”
Static snapped her tongue.
The impact slammed Astrid’s side, knocking her off Fi and into a tumble across the ice. Air flooded into Fi’s lungs. She coughed and rolled to her knees.
Her heart stopped at the sight of Antal pinning Astrid to the ground.
Astrid’s retaliation came too desperate, sloppy with panic. She swung her dagger at the daeyari’s neck. He caught her wrist, fangs bared. She punched, kicked, writhed against the ice, but Antal broke her guard with claws. Not soft, like he’d used on Fi. They sank deep into ribs, into the tender flesh of an arm. As Astrid screamed, his teeth lunged for her throat.
Fi shouted. “Antal! Stop!”
He stopped.
Merciful Void, he actually stopped.
Astrid’s chest heaved beneath him, lips quivering as her blood dripped from his claws. Without releasing his prey, Antal glanced sideways, one crimson eye to where Fi knelt with hand outstretched.
Fi’s tongue was too numb to explain. The best she could manage was to shake her head.
Conflict warred across Antal’s face, a tight mix of fury and confusion. But at Fi’s urging, he obeyed. Astrid whimpered as the daeyari yanked his claws out of her. She rolled away from him, spitting blood and cradling her ribs.
Fi stood. Astrid tracked her approach.
Her laugh was a cruel thing, bitter and defeated and rasping with bloodied teeth. “Prefer to end this yourself? Fitting.”
Fi stood over her.
Her friend. Her Astrid. On her knees beneath the Void—like they used to be. Like they’d never be again.
“Do it!” Astrid spat past a split lip. “Or is this not enough?” Her glare followed the daeyari prowling the sidelines, watching the lash of his tail as he settled at Fi’s side. “I took you for better than one ofthem, playing with your food—”
“Do you regret it?” Fi asked softly.
Astrid’s gaze snapped to her, brow furrowed.
“Do you regret what you had to do for Verne?” Fi said.
“Do Iregretit?” Astrid hissed. “There’s not a single day I don’t regret it. I didn’t want any of this.” Her voice rose, echoing through the silence of the Shard. “I never wanted any of this!”
Astrid brought them to this end.
But Fi set them on the path.
Ten years of this. Ten years wishing she’d made a better choice. Even here, at the end, Fi chased poisonous thoughts of whether there’d been a path missed somewhere, a reunion in Thomaskweld where they fell grateful into each other’s arms rather than clinging to old wounds.
But this kind of grief didn’t heal when ignored. It grew. It festered. Fi would never be free of her guilt until she faced it head on, could never forgive herself until she didwhat she should have done ten fucking years ago.
Fi dropped to her knees and pulled Astrid into a hug.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
