Why was I so easily manipulated? What was it about me that longed to trust—like a bird seeking a cage for comfort? How couldI have ended up here, once again, caught in a snare of my own making?
“I never told you I loved you because the truth is, I don’t know if I’m capable of love anymore. But I’ll be damned if I let you say I didn’t doeverythingfor you—that I didn’tlay my life downfor you—” My voice shattered in a soundless sob. I expelled a breath before choking out, “I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going back with you.” I swallowed my tears. “I’m leaving Chuang Ning.”
His eyes bulged as he realized I was serious. He shook his head, his mouth flattening. “No.”
“Sky,” I continued, as if he hadn’t spoken, “this is goodbye.”
“No,” he said again. “You’re not going.”
“I wasn’t asking for your permission—I’ve made my decision.”
“It’s not your decision to make,” he said hotly.
Heat flooded my body at his arrogant presumption. “Is that an order, Sky?”
His eyes turned to slits; neither of us would back down now. “It’s my prerogative,” he answered.
I felt fury swallow me whole, changing me into a different creature, one unrecognizable to myself. I tore my engagement string from my wrist and ground it beneath my shoe. “The wedding’s off,” I said, trying to cut him where it hurt most. “Do you know—I never wanted to marry you?” My parting smile was full of disdain. “You have no claim over me.”
An animal sound ripped from his throat. I turned to go, but he closed the distance between us and seized my shoulder, his grip rough enough to bruise. I leaned forward and sank my teeth into his hand, and when his fingers slackened I twisted out of his grasp.
“Are you going to drag me back as your captive?” I asked. “Is that what this has come to?”
“I’ll do whatever’s necessary,” he said, eyes flinty and unyielding. “You’re mine.”
I leapt toward him with a spinning roundhouse kick. He dodged and feinted left before catching me in my blind spot and slamming me to the ground with enough force that we both went rolling. I scrambled to gain the upper hand, but his strength far surpassed mine, and in seconds he had me pinned beneath him, his hands like manacles around my wrists. His cruel smirk clouded my vision with senseless rage, and I reared up and head-butted him, feeling my forehead split from the impact.
His hold loosened and I kneed him, hard enough that he gasped in pain. Then I saw the hidden knife glinting in his boot, and I reached for it, desperate and unthinking with fury. He read my intent and slammed me back into the dirt, then wrapped his hands around my throat, choking me. I scrabbled at his hands, gasping for breath, but it was no use. He was too strong, and I could not escape him. As my breath thinned and my hands grew limp, the last thing I saw was his eyes, dilated with rage, before my vision went black.
Twenty-Three
As surely as the osmanthus blooms upon the moon, the hearts of the people will stir with rebellion.
—Book of Odes, 856
The carpet was soft beneathmy cheek. I rubbed my face against it, not wanting to rise, before wondering why I was on the ground. The world lurched around me as I cracked open one eye.
I was lying on the floor of my room, the pattern of my carpet most definitely indented into my cheek. I tried to push myself upright, but my arms wouldn’t cooperate. Then I noticed: my wrists were bound in manacles.
Heat flushed through my body as my anger found me. Awkwardly I crawled into an upright position, finding my ankle also chained to the wall. Like a misbehaving dog, shackled alone to keep from biting others.
I hated him. I’d never hated anyone more in that moment.
“My lady…” Lotus was standing near the washroom, the muscles in her face tight with agitation. She’d poured me a glass of water. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Lotus.” I tried to stand but the chains were too heavy. “Please. You must help me. You must find the key—”
She backed away from me as if I were a rabid dog. “I-I’m sorry,my lady,” she whispered, on the verge of tears. “The prince said it was for your own protection.”
The revelation sank into the hollow of my chest: I had made myself weak by relying on Sky’s strength. I’d believed we could be a good team, equals in every sense. But by accepting the status quo of our society, I had allowed our union to be nothing more than a farce of equality. Sky was the recognized head, and in all decisions he would get the ultimate say. It did not matter what he promised me privately, in the bedroom and alone. By maintaining our existing systems of power, he in effect secured his authority over both me and his kingdom.
I would’ve never had any power as his wife. For it would not have been me on the throne—but him.
These chains were proof of that.
A mangled scream escaped me—part desperation, part anger. How dare he do this to me—after all that I had done for him? Was this a new side of him, revealed in the face of unchecked power? Or had this part of Sky always existed, but I, overcome by love and affection, had chosen to ignore it?
Lotus had started to cry. “Please, just bear with it a little longer, my lady,” she pleaded. “Apologize tomorrow, and he’ll forgive you, I know he will. All will be well then—”
