“I love you,” he said simply, his voice low and unwavering. “I love who I am with you. You vex me. You frighten me. You challenge me. And I would have it no other way. With you by my side, I’m confident we can rebuild Anlai for the better. The people believe in you. As do I.”
I turned my agonized gaze on him. I wanted to explain what it felt like to have your insides ripped apart, then knit back together; to crave lixia so desperately you had no appetite, no thirst, no ability to pay close attention to anything beyond that craving, which was always there, biding its time, waiting for a moment of weakness. And he thought I could live?
But he loved me; I saw that now. He loved me, and it was a pure love, like nothing else within me was pure.
Without thinking, I flung my arms around him. He staggered back in surprise, before wrapping his own arms around my waist and lifting me in the air. I laughed and clung to him, feeling lighter than I had in a long time. My robes parted indecently, but instead of scolding me he ran a warm calloused hand up my raised thigh, and I felt tendrils of long-buried desire rise up like smoke within me. “Meilin,” he groaned into my mouth, and I only pressed myself more greedily against him, giving in to the fierce want that I’d nurtured ever since first laying eyes on him in a crowded market street.
His mouth tasted me hungrily, demanding me, claiming me as his. He came up for breath only to kiss my jaw, my throat, pressing his lips against the contours of my body. Carelessly, his hand grasped at my jade necklace, lifting it from my throat.
Immediately I froze, my body tensing with the cascade of emotions that spilled out of me at once—anger, resentment, jealousy, fear. Sky felt me stiffen and pulled away, releasing me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did I hurt you?”
“No—no,” I said, though my expression must have suggested otherwise. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“I’m sorry,” said Sky, taking my hand in both of his and bringing it to his lips. “I don’t know what came overme. I shouldn’t have. I’m going to get my father’s approval to marry you, Meilin. I will marry you—I swear it.”
He thought I was afraid of becoming a ruined woman. Unconsciously, I clenched my jade in a tight fist, finding immense relief in its constant pulse against my own. For a second there, as Sky had taken my jade in his hand, a strange thought had occurred to me, one so unsettling I’d discarded it right away, like turning your head instinctively from a ghastly sight. And yet, late that night as I was drifting into sleep, it returned to me:
I’d kill him, I’d thought.If he stole my jade, I’d kill him.
Six
Thus the god of fate bound the lovers together with a red string, tied around their wrists. Though the string may stretch or tangle, it will never break, for they are destined to be together—whether in this life or the next.
—Winter and Spring Annals, 417
Sky woke me the nextday. I had grown accustomed to his daily visits, so it was a disappointment to learn he would be leaving that evening.
“We set out at sundown,” he explained.
“For?”
“Another supposed spirit summoner, what else?” said Sky, a tinge of weariness crossing his face. “Father wants to come along this time, which is a logistical nightmare.”
“You have a lead?” I asked, rubbing sleep from my eyes.
Sky answered reluctantly. “There’s been some suspicious activity in the forests of Wei An. Townsfolk who have either disappeared or gone raving mad.”
“A gate,” I whispered.
“Hm?” said Sky, before the front door was flung open.
“What are you doing?” Winter hissed, out of breath. “Look at the time.”
“I didn’t want to wake her,” Sky explained abashedly. He glanced at me. “You were sleeping so soundly.”
Winter looked to be at the end of his patience. “Everyone’s waiting outside.”
“Go,” I told Sky. From Winter’s tone, it sounded urgent.
“You too,” said Winter, to me. “You might consider getting dressed.”
“Me?” I asked.
“For skies’ sake, you haven’t told her yet?”
“I was getting to it,” said Sky, scratching the back of his head.
