She chuckled. “That’s true. I am happy to see you’re at least cleaned up.” Her smile faltered. “How did it all go? Did you lose anyone? And what’s this I hear about Edmund?”
I sighed as I grazed my hands along her arms. “We lost just over forty. It would have been less had the Undead not attacked us.”
Her eyes widened. “The Undead!” she exclaimed, her hands flying to her cheeks. I nodded and she shook her head. “I don’t want you on these missions anymore, Silas. I do not care what your father says. The Undead are too dangerous for you to be putting yourself at risk.”
“What kind of leader would I be if I sent my men on a journey that I would not venture on myself?”
She frowned. “A leader that isalive.”
I groaned, then gave her a soft smile. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”
She grinned and kissed me.
Her lips didn’t soothe me how they normally did. I was still incredibly tense from everything that happened.
“I need another shower—need to clear my head,” I said as I gestured to our master bath.
She nodded, and as I began to walk away, she asked, “Who was that woman you were interrogating?”
I tensed at those words and was grateful my back was to her. “Their leader.” I went for our dresser to grab a towel and some clothes to lounge in.
“I thought it was an older man?”
“A lot has happened. I’ll tell you more when I am done.”
She gave me another nod, and with that, I entered our bathroom.
After undressing, I stepped into the shower, the hot water relaxing my muscles. As it trickled down, I could feel my nerves starting to settle.
I tried to think of anything other than my altercation with Lena, but it wouldn’t give. Especially her eyes when I grabbed her neck. The way she looked at me…the fear in her eyes. She looked at me like I was a monster.
It was not an incorrect assumption. I am certainly nothing like the man she knew. Not even close. Still, I should have never put my hands on her.
I ran my hands through my hair, shampoo bubbles dripping down my body.
She called me Quill…criedthat name as if reaching for the person I used to be. My whole body went numb at the sound of it leaving her lips. She truly believed that version of me still existed.
I am sure she believes that no longer.
I began to think of those tears in her eyes and how I couldn’t even look at her face when Era showed up. I wanted to hurt her, yet I didn’t have the balls to even see her reaction.
My thoughts drifted to how she must be feeling sitting in that cold cell, and I felt a tightness in my chest.
I didn’t know how I fucking felt. Every good thing about me was destroyed a long, long time ago. But the thought of her crying and scared just shattered what little was left of my heart.
She is a witch. She lied about who she was the entire time.
I sighed, my conflicting thoughts eating me alive.
Yes, but I did, too. Had she not followed me to the castle and found out who I really was after being captured, I’m not sure when I would’ve told her my secret.
What was I going to do? I needed that information if there was any hope of us finding the large group of Mages and stopping the Weapon said to destroy our kingdom. But I would never torture it out of Lena like I had with others of her kind. I just couldn’t.
I also couldn’t let her die. Despite what she was, she was one of the only good things that had ever happened to me. The years with her were the happiest of my life.
Perhaps that made me weak.
I took my time showering, my thoughts a jumbled mess. When I was finally finished, I wrapped a towel around my waist. I made sure to put on a white cotton sweater, something comfortable to sleep in, to hide my back—the place I never let anyone see, not even Era.
