“Honey, stop biting yourself,” Emily said.
“He’s dead because of me,” I said, ignoring her. “I didn’t want him to go. I sent him off with negative energy. I cursed him, and if there’s one thing Balthazar gets off on, it’s a curse. Balthazar loves treachery and deceit. My curse was like a beacon that drew right to Roman. The wolves, the wolves, the wolves… The wolves found him first, leading Balthazar right to my husband. It’s all my fault!”
I began a terrible keening, a banshee mourning the dead.
“Olivia, no, it wasn’t your fault,” Marcellious said, crouching beside me. “Roman fought valiantly. We were outnumbered. The Kiowa combined forces with the Comanche. We were completely outnumbered by the sea of warriors sweeping over the hills, descending on us like a plague of locusts.”
“Go!” I held up a shaking hand and pointed toward the door. “Leave me to my pain. Stop wasting your time on me. I don’t deserve it. I sent Roman todie.”
“Olivia, stop this raving! You’re scaring me!” Emily said, once more wringing her hands.
I began to rock again. “You should have seen Balthazar. When he came to me, he was so angry that I thought he’d kill me then and there. But, no, killing me would have been merciful, and Balthazar has no mercy. He promised to break and destroy me by taking away everything and everyone I love.” My body swayed forward and back and sometimes in circles, round and round. “He promised me, and he’s a man of his word. He kept his promise. Oh, yes, he did. He left me a shell of the woman I used to be.”
I brought my hand to my mouth again and gnawed on my flesh.
I lifted my arm and mimicked his actions over and over.
Emily sobbed. “Olivia, stop!”
She tried to seize my hand, but I still had strength left in my body, enough, at least, to push her away.
Tears filled my eyes as I looked at her.
“We’re going to help you,” Emily said, crying hard. “Tell her, Marcellious. Tell Olivia that we’re going to help her get better.”
Marcellious knew better than to speak. Even he could tell I had crossed a ledge leading to nowhere, and recovery wasn’t possible.
“Tell her, Marcellious,” Emily pleaded. “I can’t lose you, Olivia.”
I threw myself onto the bison furs face down and wept uncontrollably.
Shuffling sounds drifted past, indicating Emily and Marcellious leaving.
I could barely hear Emily saying, “We’re losing her, Marcellious!”
Marcellious said, “No, I promise we won’t lose Olivia. You need care and comfort, too, Emily. Let me take care of you.”
Silence settled around me.
After a time, another voice interrupted my grieving sojourn—Grey Feather.
“We’re going to find Roman, Little Moon,” he said.
I rolled on my back and shook my head over and over.
“He’s gone,” I said, my throat raw. “Roman is dead.”
“You don’t know that, child,” he said, looking down at me with kind eyes. He looked awful—haggard and worn as if he’d aged ten thousand years since I last saw him. His wrinkled face hung heavy, the flesh dripping from the bones, swollen with grief and sorrow.
“I do,” I whispered. “It must be so.”
“What did Balthazar say to you to make you believe this?” Grey Feather said.
I grabbed my hair and pulled, writhing back and forth. “Balthazar does what he wants. He’s heedless to other people’s needs or desires. He takes, and he takes, and he takes. He told me he would break me, and he did.”
My weeping tirade began anew, and I covered my face.
Grey Feather leaned on his staff. “We’ve lost so many, Little Moon. We must move—relocate and get to a safer spot.”
