“Organize your life how?”
“Apartment hunting. I want to wait for my brother to get back before I make the final decision, but I’d like to visit a few places before that.”
Silence again.
“About Ethan, I wanted to ask you . . .uh . . .not to tell him anything about what happened yesterday, because he’ll freak out about us and—”
“Not while he’s away. But when he comes back, yeah, I will. I don’t see a reason to hide, and neither should you. You’re an adult.”
“I thought that you and I . . .that we . . .I mean, whatever this is between us—”
“You thought it was over? I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep, Lilly. I told you last night that I want you.”
“You also told me you’re not a prince.”
“And I’m not.”
“But can you be faithful? I’m not asking for a relationship label, but if we’re . . .whatever this is, I don’t want to see scenes like yesterday again.”
“Nothing happened. She came on to me and I told her no. End of story.”
“I’m not used to relationships. I’ve never had one. All I know is I was insanely jealous.”
“As long as we’re together, there’s only you,” he says.
I don’t know if that was meant to reassure me, because if it was, it didn’t work. The needy part of me can only think he’s already sure this thing between us will eventually end.
“Okay,” I say simply.
“That doesn’t mean we’re going to last forever. Just know what you’re getting into,” he continues, confirming exactly what I feared.
“Right.” I try not to sound upset, but it’s not easy. How can someone see the end of something that’s barely begun?
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“I’ve never done this before, Lillyana.”
“Done what?”
“Been in a relationship. I don’t know if I can do it. Chances are, I’ll screw it all up.”
“If that’s the case, maybe we should stop right now. I’m not going to be just a fling, if that’s what you’re offering. I might be inexperienced, but I know myself. I’m not made for casual. Either we’re on or we’re not.”
“We’re on. Even though I’m sure you have no idea what you’re signing up for.”
“I really don’t. But I’m not walking away. I don’t want to walk away, Amos.”
“Now we need to talk about your dead phone the other day.”
“It wasn’t off—the battery died. I met that guy I told you about, Theodoro Argyros, at the bookstore. He studied fashion in Paris too. We started talking and decided to grab a bite. That’s basically it. When I realized my phone had died, I came home.”
“I’m a control freak, Lilly. What happened with your phone can’t happen again.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“I didn’t say you did. I just want you to be more aware so I can reach you whenever I need to. There’s no room for negotiation on that.”
