I barely fasten my seatbelt when my phone rings.
Lilly.
“Hey,” I answer, forcing indifference into my voice.
She takes a moment before speaking. “Are you okay, Amos?”
I know she’s trying to sound casual—yeah, she’s trying, because this isn’t my Lilly.
There’s nothing distant about my woman. Every cell of hers is warm and welcoming.
“Yeah. Just busy.”
“Hunting monsters?”
“Among other things.”
“Bruno asked about you.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, acid burning me from the inside. “I don’t want him getting attached to me.”You two belong to me.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means he doesn’t deserve another disappointment. I’m just passing through his life.”
“This is how you operate, isn’t it?” she says, now angry.
“What exactly are you talking about, Lilly?”
“About feeling, Amos. You’d rather turn your back than risk living something real.”
“Are we talking about us or about Bruno?”There’s tension in my question.
“About everything.”
I clench my jaw, pain hitting me like a punch as I brace to land the final blow. “Grow up, Lillyana. The world doesn’t revolve around you. I’ve got bigger problems to deal with.”
“So our last time together was a goodbye? I don’t believe you! If you think you can make me stop loving you with a few words, you don’t know me at all. No matter what you tell yourself, what we have isn’t going to end, Amos. I get that you’re in the middle of chaos, and what happened when Jonathan shot Theo shook you. It shook me too. But I’m not a quitter. If you want to end things with me, fine, do your worst. But you’ll do it looking me in the eyes. Until then, I’ll stay out of your way.”
“Lilly—”
Her pain is a thousand times worse than anything I could ever inflict on myself.
“Don’t say anything else. I’m not stupid; I know what you’re doing. If you really want me to walk away for good, you’ll have to say it outright. But I don’t think that’s the case. You’re trying to protect me. And if you really don’t want me, say it to my face. No more games between us. If this is the end, you’ll have to prove it to me. Until then, I’ll keep my distance.”
She hangs up without saying goodbye.
I don’t know what I expected—but it sure as hell wasn’t the words she just said.
I set the phone down and stare blankly out the window.
The Lilly who just spoke to me isn’t the insecure girl who came into my life. It’s like she’s bloomed, fully become a woman.
Every word we exchanged felt like a knife twisting in my heart.
I wish I could forget this fucking nightmare and give her the love she deserves. But I know the risks that would bring to her safety.
When this is all finally over, will she forgive me? Will there be a chance for us?
