“Yes.”
“Every time I call him, I can hear the joy in his voice—even my cold heart can’t ignore it.”
“You don’t have a cold heart,” I say, because I truly don’t believe he does.
“Bruno is one of the lucky ones. He wasn’t abused in every way like the others,” he says, ignoring my words and looking uncomfortable talking about himself.
“Why is he alone in that clinic?”
“Because someone tried to poison the children. One of them died. Those kids are living proof of the organization’s depravity. Besides the FBI, many of our men are involved in their security too.”
“You protect them.”
“No. I eliminate those who hurt them.”
“It’s the same thing, Amos. We’re just looking at it from different angles. Don’t tell me you don’t care about those children—or you wouldn’t take responsibility for Bruno’s wellbeing. He has a private nurse—and I saw the bodyguards at the clinic.”
“You shouldn’t be so calm about what I’m telling you, Lillyana. Do you understand what I do? Who I am?”
“I do. You save the victims when the state fails them.”
“I’m not a hero, Lilly. I kill without losing sleep over it.”
“You only kill the bad ones.”
“Some would say I have no right to judge and execute.”
“Maybe. But those are the same people who sit at home watching TV, pretending there’s no evil in the world—that children like Bruno and that poor little girl didn’t suffer hell at the hands of monsters.”
“I thought you went to a convent school.” He tries to joke.
“I did. But I never wanted to be a nun. I know the difference between right and wrong. I’m not someone who forgives unconditionally. And I think anyone who commits crimes like the ones you’re telling me about deserves punishment.”
“So you’re saying you don’t care that I’ve killed people?”
“I’m saying I don’t judge you for killing criminals.”
He falls silent—and I think it’s because he wasn’t expecting that answer.
He grabs a sponge, fills it with soap, and starts washing my back.
“During one of my visits, I asked the doctor who would take care of Bruno once he’s discharged. He said he’d probably be sent to another orphanage. I don’t want that to happen.”
He stops washing me. “What are you thinking?”
“I have more money than I’ll ever need. I want to give him a home.” I turn and drape my legs over his.
“You’re only twenty—and you’re thinking about adopting a child?”
“I don’t know ifadoptionis the right word—but maybe, yes. I want to take care of him.”
“Do you have any idea how big a responsibility it is to take in a child who’s been through what Bruno has? There are things he’s lived through that will never go away. Look at me. Bruno could become someone like me, Lilly.”
“Then he’d be lucky.”
“You’re wrong. I’m not a good person. I want you, I’ll protect you and care for you, I’ll honor your love. But I don’t know if I can give you the same in return. I don’t know how to love.”
“I’m not asking for your love. That’s not something you can demand. And I’m not talking about us—I’m talking about me and Bruno. You say you don’t know how to love. I do. And I have enough love for both of you inside me. I’m not asking you to share this responsibility with me. But I won’t let him be adopted again and possibly returned. I want to be sure he’ll never have to leave my home.”
