“Inall fairness to her, she didn’t bring you up.Idid.”
Hereaches between the bars and brushes his knuckles lightly across my cheek before tucking a lock of hair behind my ear and into my braid, just like he had after giving me my repaired necklace.Iclose my eyes as the touch sends shivers through my whole body.WhenIopen them, he’s looking deep into my eyes, like he knows me.Allof me.Thenhe says, “Ilove you,ZoeSteele.MorethanIever knewIcould love someone.”
Emotionwells in me, andIcan feel the truth of his words soaking into me.Fillingme to every corner.Settlingin my core.Nourishingevery part of me.Eventhe parts of me thatIthought had withered and died long ago.It’sall coming back to life.Ican feel all of it.
“Iknow,”Iwhisper.AndIfeel the conviction in my own words deeply.Ican trust all of it.Forthe first time,IknowthatIam loved.Allof me.Notjust the partsLedgerhas seen.Heloves even the parts of me he hasn’t seen yet.Theparts of me that maybe neither of us knows exist yet.
I’mnot sure how to even tell him whatI’mfeeling.Justlike with shopping for house things,Iam not skilled in thisdepartment.ButIopen my mouth and speak from my heart anyway.
“AndIlove you.Ihave loved you for a long time—I’mpretty sureI’veloved you sinceMoldova.It’sjust grown so much since we left on that plane forDublin.Alot.MorethanIthoughtIwas capable of loving someone.Ididn’t realize, though, how many things were holding me back.EventhoughIdidn’t truly believe thatIcould be loved,Ididn’t thinkI’dbeen limiting how muchIcould loveyou.”
Ishake my head in frustration. “Idon’t even know how to put into words howI’mfeeling.”Ilook up at nothing, searching for a way to explain, becauseLedgerdeserves to know.Thisman has given me so much of himself; he should know how muchIlove him.
Igrab hold of the only metaphorIcan find. “It’slike my heart was a hotel room.Ithad everythingIneeded— a place to sleep, a mini fridge and microwave, a little table, a bathroom, a closet.Ipretty much kept the door shut tight for most of my life, butIstill had it, you know?Thenyou came along, andIopened the door, andIloved you with my whole hotel room heart.
Andthen my heart became an apartment, andIsuddenly had a kitchen and a living room, too, with a couch, and pots and pans—”
“Andeven garbage cans,”Ledgersays.
“Andeven garbage cans,”Isay, letting out a little laugh asIdab a knuckle under my eyelid. “Andsuddenly, my heart was so much more open.Ihad so much more capacity to love you.MorethanIever thought was possible.AndIloved you with my whole apartmentheart.”
I’mnot even sureI’mmaking sense at this point, but it’s the only wayI’vegot to explain, soIpress forward. “ButIdidn’t know that my heart was bigger than my apartment.Istill didn’t believe that you could love me becauseIdidn’t knowIwas actually lovable.Iknew that what you were offering me was unconditional, butIthought that it was only because you didn’t know yet thatIwasn’t worthy of your love.Andonce you found outIwasn’t, that would be it for us.
“ButnowIknow.NowIget it.Iknow that you love all of me.NowthatIfinally understand, it’s like you came along and opened all the doors to placesIdidn’t even know were there.Ledger, my heart is a freaking mansion!AndIhad no idea that it was.Butnow that it’s all open,Iknow thatIlove you with all of it.Mywhole mansion heart.”
Mysinuses are swelling and my eyes are getting watery, but still,Ichuckle at how ridiculous this must sound.Ishake my head and look up, hoping that will help with my eyes and my sinuses and my emotions. “Gah.Iam so bad at relationships.IthinkI’mgetting this all wrong.”
ImeetLedger’seyes.They’resoft.Sweet.Fullof emotion.Fullof love.Ina choked voice, he says, “You’redoing so much better than you think you are.”
Heputs his arms through the bars and wraps them around me, pulling me as close as we can with this prison wall between us.Then, with both of our faces in the space between two bars, he plants the sweetest kiss on my lips.Itfeels like trust and a promise, and like thelock pendant on my necklace represents, it feels like it’s anything but temporary.Itfeels like it’s a kiss promising forever.
Throughmy earpiece,Ihear a throat clear, thenMilessays, “Ireally hate to interrupt this love fest, because, honestly, it’s the greatest thingI’veheard in a good, long while.ButIjust need to report in thatI’vegot everything copied over to the drive, andI’veuploaded the virus.Ithas finished its thing, and we have what we need.”
“Copythat,”Packstonsays. “I’mclearing the extraction team to go in.”
Myface instantly heats to the temperature of the sun, andIcover it with my hands to cool it and block out everything.
Allof that.Ijust saidall of thatwith two ofLedger’sbrothers listening.Andhis sister.Andboth our tech ops.Ihad completely forgotten thatIhad my mic on.Iuncover my face and my eyes go wide as it hits me that with a mission as large and involved as this one, we are up on the big screens at both theCIAand theCSA.Ourdirectors heard all of that.Ourcoworkers heard it.
Andnot only did they hear it back home, but they saw it.Bothof our body cams are on.Ishut off my mic and my camera, andLedgershuts off his camera. “Ican’t believeIdid that,”Isay, pulling at my collar.It’ssuddenly so much warmer in here. “Ididn’t mean to embarrass you like that.”
Hesmiles at me and tugs me closer. “Itdidn’t embarrass me.”Asmile spreads across his face, then he turns my mic on and says, “Incase any of you werewondering,IloveZoeSteelewith my whole mansion heart, too.”Thenhe turns it back off.
Iswat at his arm.ThenIgrab him by the collar, pull him close, and press my lips against his.
Thereis only so much kissing you can do when your cheeks are hitting prison bars, though, so even thoughIdon’t want to let go of this amazing man,Ido soIcan start searching the guards for the keys.
I’mlooking through the pockets in the first one’s vest whenLedgersays, “So… funny story.Idon’t think they’ve been at this fortress for long.Theguards andIdon’t exactly speak the same language, and you got down here really quickly— impressively quickly— so there wasn’t exactly a verbal conversation going on.Butfrom whatIgathered,I’mtheir first lockup.Ithink they realized after they shut the cell door that no one has the keys.”
Iturn in my crouch to look atLedger. “Areyou serious?Nokeys?”
Henods. “Nokeys.”
Iturn back on my mic.There’sbeen a lot of action on the comms as the extraction team moves from room to room, guided by our surveillance mapping, clearing any of theBarnobrothers’ people, gathering all physical evidence as they go.Iwait for a break in the conversation and say, “Um, it looks like we’ve got a problem here.Thereare no keys toLedger’sprison cell.”
Heleans closer to my mic and says, “I’mhoping that the extraction team brought lock picks.Ormaybe the distraction team has some kind of explosive?Or, youknow, maybe someone has a master key that works on ancient fortresses.”
“We’reon it,”Charliesays. “Itcould be a bit, though.Wehave to clear everywhere on the main level and in the towers before we can get someone down there.Justhang tight.”
