‘I wouldn’t do that.’ He stood up. His expression was blank. ‘William will have to be told.’
‘Yes.’ She had drawn her line in the sand and her heart was breaking in two. What he had told her had made her want to weep but she knew that she had to stand firm or else end up hopelessly lost.
William, though, was going to be an almighty problem. He didn’t want to hurt his godfather, for powerful reasons she was only now fully understanding, and nor did she.
She knew that William would assume his godson had somehow taken advantage of her and had ended up with a mess on his hands, and even if she denied anything of the sort he would still secretly judge Curtis, who would be found wanting for ever.
It would be heartbreaking.
Curtis had inadvertently told her that William hadrescuedhim and that was a very telling word. Could she live with herself if that relationship was somehow changed for ever for the worse?
She could live with herself iftheirfriendship changed. It almost certainly would now that she had turned down his proposal. But for William to blame Curtis for what had happened...? That would be a great deal harder to stomach.
He began heading towards the door and she reached out and stayed him with her hand on his arm and felt him stiffen under her touch.
Already their friendship was changing.
‘I get it.’
‘What do you get, Jess?’ His mouth twisted. ‘That my semi-tragic background is responsible for me making unreasonable decisions when it comes to the fate of a baby?’
‘No!’ But she reddened.
‘You want your freedom to find true love and I can’t stop you. The conversation has been had and, as you’ve said, it’s time to move onto another solution to handling this situation. I said I would do anything within my power to give any child of mine what they deserve. That doesn’t mean trying to fight you for custody.’
His voice was cool, accepting and practical, and it cut a jagged path through her heart.
‘William...’ She maintained eye contact but removed her hand from his arm.
‘It is what it is.’
‘I can understand,’ she said softly, ‘why it means so much that his opinion of you isn’t...doesn’t...’
‘Like I said,’ Curtis grated, ‘it is what it is.’
‘Believe it or not, it would break my heart if I thought I’d done anything at all to change his opinion of you,’ Jess said. ‘So here’smyproposal.’
‘I’m listening.’
‘Tomorrow we’ll tell him...um...about the situation, but I’m prepared to paper over the fact that we’re not cementing a relationship by rushing down the aisle.’
‘Explain, Jess.’
‘We can pretend just for a while that this isn’t what it actually is...a one-night stand with unexpected consequences.’ She paused but his expression was unreadable. ‘I know if it tapers off in due course, he will more easily accept that we had fun but that as lifelong partners it wasn’t meant to be. He won’t...think that you’re the bad guy in this...he won’t think that you used me. Which, of course, you didn’t.’
She watched as he lowered his eyes, shielding his expression.
As sacrifices went, this was a big deal for her because she would much rather have dealt with things in a businesslike fashion, which might have protected her battered heart, but his story...his heart-wrenching account of a childhood she had never suspected...
We all had our Achilles heel. If he was hers, then William was his.
To pretend a relationship for a short while would be worth it if it saved William’s opinion of his godson. He adored Curtis and she wouldn’t want to see that jeopardised.
‘Appreciated,’ Curtis said curtly. For a couple of seconds he seemed to be on the verge of adding to that, but instead he inclined his head in a mocking salute. ‘Tomorrow,’ he told her brusquely. ‘Do you want to come to the house or would you rather I swing by to fetch you?’
‘I’ll make my own way there.’
She felt a shiver of apprehension at a future stretching out in front of her, weaving its obscure way to a place she didn’t know and hadn’t banked on.
