Children didn’t ask to be born. Yes, there were circumstances that dictated lives that were far from ideal, with absentee parents or parents who just didn’t care, but she would never have been able to live with herself if she had made a unilateral decision to deny her daughter the chance of having two parents, even two who were no longer together.
‘I wanted to tell you when I found out but couldn’t...and when I saw you again, I’m sorry... I didn’t think...’ She stumbled over her words, shying away from the hard look in his dark eyes. ‘You could have been married, for all I knew. Had kids of your own...’
‘That would not have mattered,’ Abe said evenly. ‘The child sleeping in that bedroom would still have remained my responsibility.’
‘I’m glad to hear that.’ She extended an olive branch because a way forward had to be found, and if they were on opposing sides that was going to be impossible. ‘I know a lot of men would find it easy to walk away from their responsibilities to a child they hadn’t asked for. I know this might put you in a difficult situation...’ She laughed uncertainly. ‘It’s not as though you’re an ordinary guy and I know it’ll probably be impossible for you to see much of Tilly, but I won’t stand in the way if you happen to be in London and want to meet with her without being able to give me much notice.’
Every word hurt because never in a million years had she ever seen herself in this place, talking to the father of her child the way she would have spoken to a stranger. She had loved this man, given herself to him,trustedhim and now what was left? The pain of disillusionment. Yes, she was happy that he wasn’t going to walk away from Tilly, but it was a dagger through her heart to know that the only reason he was even sitting at this table opposite her was because he had no choice.
And, more than that...what happened now?
Losing both her parents had shown Georgie how desperately she longed for stability. Having Tilly had only reinforced those concerns and yet here she was teetering on the edge of the unknown and her hard-won stability felt as though it were disappearing like water down a plughole.
Trying to be detached, as he was, was the only way they would be able to deal with the situation in an adult, satisfactory manner but she felt sick from the effort.
‘You’re telling me that you will allow me to play a part in my daughter’s life?’
‘Well, yes,’ Georgie said uncertainly. ‘And, of course, if you want to contribute financially, then I won’t stop you...’
‘That’s very generous of you,’ Abe responded with just a touch of incredulity. ‘I understand that for reasons beyond your control, beyondourcontrol, I have been uninvolved in my child’s life for the past three years, but I can assure you that the winds of change are beginning to blow.’
‘What do you mean by that, exactly?’
‘I mean that it is unacceptable for me to only play a walk-on part in Tilly’s life. How do you imagine that would work? Realistically?’
‘Well, I don’t think there would be any need to get lawyers involved...’
‘If you had been able to contact me when you found out you were pregnant, Georgie,’ he said quietly, ‘how do you imagine the scenario would have played out?’
Georgie thought that, had she been able to contact him, it would have entailed a whole series of alternatives that would have made things very different. It would have meant that he was still around or had at least given her his number, which would have implied that he would have wanted her to keep in touch...and that being the case, who knew? They might have actually remained together, had the committed relationship she had craved back then, given their child the best head start in life by being afamily.
A sheltered upbringing had been her own worst enemy, had deprived her of the defences required to live life as he did—on an easy come, easy go basis before he married someone from the same background and elevated standing as him.
She had had a mighty learning curve since then. Reality left no room for romance and what she was facing now was reality. He was here and they would have to come to some kind of agreement about visiting rights.
‘Like this,’ she told him. ‘Of course, I would have thought it would have been a bit more straightforward because I would have assumed you lived in the same country or else somewhere reasonably commutable, but I would have said what I’m saying now—that I would never stand in your way of seeing your child and would never stop you from helping out if that was what you wanted to do.’
‘Participating in my child’s life from a distance isn’t going to work for me. I can’t hop on a plane and visit every weekend and, even if I could do that, I wouldn’t want to.’
‘What are you trying to say?’
‘Do you think it’s fair for my daughter to be an occasional visitor to her father? To miss out on her heritage and birthright? Don’t forget she’s the firstborn child of the Crown Prince of Qaram. She’s entitled to all the privileges that come with that. Would you deny her access to the very best of everything?’
Georgie gasped at the implication that Tilly had in any way been disadvantaged. ‘Howdareyou? I have worked hard every single day to give Tilly the very best I could! You have no idea what it felt like to return to London, single and pregnant, with all my dreams put on hold, terrified that I wouldn’t be able to earn a living!’ Shaking at his insinuation that what she had to offer Tilly was paltry in comparison to him, Georgie sprang to her feet and stalked across to the sink, putting some space between them while she gathered herself.
She stood staring out of the window by the kitchen sink, her back to him, hands braced against the counter and taking deep breaths because, right now, she could have hit him.
She froze when she felt the weight of his hands on her shoulders. She turned around slowly, caged in and suffocatingly conscious of his proximity.
Her eyes flickered to the hard lines of his face then dropped to his wide, sensuous mouth and skittered away before her imagination could start filling in blanks.
‘Georgie, that is not at all what I meant to imply. You’ve done brilliantly under very difficult circumstances,’ he said stiffly.
She folded her arms and reluctantly raised her eyes to his face. ‘How else could I take it? This may not be up to your standards,’ she said tightly, ‘but it ismycastle and I have never stopped counting my lucky stars that I had the means to buy it so that there was at least a roof over our heads when we needed it.’ He’d dropped his hands but he was still so close to her that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. ‘I was alone and afraid, so don’t youdareswan in here and say you could give her more than I have! She’s loved, and she knows it, and that means a lot more than material possessions, even solid gold ones!’
Every single word was a proclamation of how much he had hurt her with his thoughtless words, and Abe knew that her bitterness would be the greatest impediment to what could be the one and only conclusion to this bombshell situation.
There was no choice going forward for either of them but marriage. Anything else was unthinkable. He could not conceivably have a child and commute a handful of times a year to pay lip service to visiting rights. He hadn’t asked for a child, but he now had one and there was no part of him that did not intend to be a hands-on father.
