Like her, he had escaped to have a shower earlier on, after their hearty breakfast at almost midday and tea in the garden at four. He was in a pair of faded jeans, a grey long-sleeved tee shirt that lovingly and unfairly emphasised his lean muscularity and some tan loafers that would have cost the earth.
‘So...’ he drawled. ‘Help me out here, Ellie. I thought, after I’d spent half an hour staring out at the great British scenery, that I would come down to the kitchen to find your mother semi-tearful but resigned, in front of a cup of tea, having received the disappointing news that there wasn’t going to be any happy-ever-after...’
‘I know.’ Ellie shot him a guilty look from under her lashes. She indicated one of the chairs by the table, thought better of it and then moved to the back door that led out into the garden. She needed some fresh air, even if the air was a little too fresh for what she was wearing. Leading the way, she unhooked her old mac from the door and stepped into a pair of wellies, even though it wasn’t raining.
Her mother’s garden was small and manageable but gave the illusion of being absolutely enormous because it backed onto open fields. With just the light from the kitchen behind them, the garden was shrouded in darkness, and beyond the fields rose and fell with dark uniformity, much like the ocean at night, the very ocean they had left behind.
Ellie didn’t look at him as she straightened one of the garden chairs and curled up into it, tucking her legs under her, covering them with the mac. She felt the brush of his arm against hers as he adopted a similar position, both of them staring out at the vast landscape.
Her skin tingled from that accidental brush, making her shiver with that unwelcome sexual awareness that had dogged her all day.
He’d been the perfect gentleman. He’d charmed her mother and had been unfailingly considerate towards her, and Ellie had hated every second of it, because it wasn’t what she wanted from him.Not any more.She wanted passion and fire and craving, and all that hunger that had flared in his eyes every time he’d looked at her a million years ago in Barbados...
The wretched hopelessness of it engulfed her. She could no longer summon up any enthusiasm for the prospect of slowly weaning herself off him. All she could see was a guy who didn’t love her and anguished days spent working alongside him, watching him carry on with his life while she was cruelly rooted in the past, desperately trying to move on but condemned to become a spectator to other women taking her place in his bed.
‘I couldn’t do it,’ she said sadly. ‘I really tried, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it...’
CHAPTER NINE
‘IREALISEYOU’REprobably quite annoyed...’Livid, she mentally amended.‘I prepared my speech. I was going to be light-hearted about it, tell Mum that it was all just a silly mistake...that that’s what happens when a vindictive ex is in the picture...’
She sighed.
‘But then she rushed into telling me about how happy she was...overjoyed... How long she’d spent worrying that life was passing me by... I was hell-bent on taking care of her, and didn’t see that somewhere along the line she really just wanted me to take care of myself. Now she thinks that I’m finally happy, that I’ve found the one for me.’
‘I understand,’ James murmured.
‘She started crying, but in a quiet way. Said how lost she’d felt after Dad died, that she’d been a burden to me and that it was so wonderful to finally see me happy, and actually living life the way it should be lived. I think those wereher exact words.’
What Ellie failed to mention were the other things Angela Thompson had said. She had spotted them holding hands through the window, before she’d answered the door. She could see how much love there was between them. She’d been feeling so low, but now she felt as though she’d been given a new lease of life...
Every smiling confidence had plunged the dagger deeper into Ellie’s heart. No longer could glib explanations gloss over what had happened, yet how on earth could she go into the detail of how shereallyfelt about her emotionally unavailable boss? How could she make sense for her mother of the way she had meandered, eyes wide open, into an emotional quagmire, where she was now stuck loving him while he turned his back and walked away? How could she tell her mum that what had started between them had only started because she had just beenso differentfrom his glamorous ex? Fromallhis glamorous exes? That she had been the new and different toy with which he had enjoyed playing for a while but was never going to hold on to for very long?
Every joyous utterance from her mother had been a cruel reminder of just how far from the truth she was. In the end, Ellie had cravenly backed away from the confession she had been intent on making.
‘I... She knows you won’t be staying beyond tomorrow. I told her you had urgent business to see to in London. You’ll be leaving first thing.’
‘You’re upset,’ James murmured, eyes shielded.
‘Of course I’m upset!’ Ellie burst out in angry frustration. She strode towards the bed and flung herself on it, utterly exhausted and angry with him for being so calm. But then what was at stake for him, really? After this interlude, life would return to normal quickly. She would be the one left picking up pieces. She would be the one having to deal with her mother’s bitter disappointment after he’d swanned off, having done his bit. And that didn’t even begin to cover the horror of dealing with her broken heart.
She rested her arm over her eyes, banking down a desire to cry. She knew he had joined her on the bed when his weight depressed the mattress. She tensed, wanting him so badly that it hurt, yet refusing to yield to the fierce physical pull he had over her. She kept her arm draped over her face.
She didn’t expect him to scoop her up, but he did, and she didn’t struggle when he enfolded her in his arms and rested her head against his shoulder.
A kind and caring gesture, she thought as her body began to stir into heated response.
He stroked her back and she was dimly aware of him murmuring soothing things under his breath. She began to relax. She didn’t want to make love. Sheknewthat that was a place she no longer had a right to revisit. Yet they did, slowly and tenderly, and it felt as though everything was happening in a dream. He held her for a long time, coaxing her anxieties out of her, stroking her hair until she was melting against him, eyes closed, her breathing evening out.
Thoughts flew out of her head as fast as her anxieties. Her mind went a complete blank and familiar sensations settled in to replace the arousal of her body, her breasts becoming tender, her nipples pinching and then hardening into tight buds as his hand slipped under her top to caress her. He knew her body so well, could strum it with the dexterity of a maestro.
She didn’t open her eyes. She allowed herself to be seduced into trance-like pleasure, opening up to him with the hunger of someone deprived of sustenance for too long.
Her clothes were removed. She felt the coolness of the night on her naked skin and his silent, caressing fingers on her, touching her in places she had come to love being touched and sending her body up in flames.
Neither of them spoke and it felt as if they were both in the same place, contemplative and aware that there would be a situation to deal with when this brief interlude was over. But, for the moment, Ellieneededthis, whether it made sense or not.
He nuzzled her breasts and explored her body, gently caressing her between her legs and feeling the wetness of her arousal, and she did the same for him, pleasuring him with her hands and her mouth until he was groaning, low, husky and urgent. They were moving in slow motion, languorous and fluid. He went between her legs, tasting her with his mouth and his tongue, flicking and teasing her clitoris while she coiled her fingers into his hair, clinging like someone needing anchorage in a storm.
