The moment Spade pulls the truck to stop, I jump out to breathe in the ocean air. The salty scent fills my lungs, and it’s different from the crisp mountain air we have back home, but I enjoy it just as much. Just like the place in front of us. The two-story house has a huge deck and intricate wooden rails painted white.
“I already love it here.” I sigh and close my eyes to gather my thoughts.
Spade walks beside me and takes hold of my hand. “And you haven’t even seen the inside of the house yet.”
I open my eyes, looking his way. “Then you better show me all of it!”
”We need the keys first. They’re in a small metal box behind that plant pot,” he says pointing to our right.
Walking toward it, Spade spots what he’s looking for and enters a code in the digital lock in the box. It opens and a pair of seahorse-shaped key chains holding the keys are inside.
Keys in hand, he unlocks the door and what I see takes my breath away. I have arrived at my personal heaven. That’s the only way to describe the place where we are. The rental is stunning with an open floor plan, carefully chosen details and the ocean view from its big windows. There’s sand and water as far as the eye can see.
I hurriedly open the door to the back deck and rush down the stairs to the beach, with Spade following close behind. I want to do what I told him in that hospital room—dip my toes in the sand and smell the ocean wide open in front of us. Too bad I don’t have coffee with me to complete my dream scenario, but that can be arranged for tomorrow morning.
The ocean breeze plays with my hair, making the strands dance like they hear a song we don’t. I keep walking, taking off my sandals when I’m finally on the sand.
The warm, soft ground under my feet feels different but familiar at the same time. This feeling makes my steps move faster so I can reach the water and feel it between my toes.
The moment they touch the surprisingly warm water, I break down.
I made it here.
I’m finally seeing the ocean.
My parents would have loved this.
My parents—
With that last thought, I feel overwhelmed and like the world is spinning around me. I don’t know what’s happening, but something has opened inside me, and now all the things that have been locked for years are pouring out. I sob quietly at first, tears streaming down my face.
My entire body shakes as I try to process this moment. I take a few steps back and sit down on the sand. Before long, Spade sits behind me, bringing me on his lap, his strong arms enveloping me in a comforting embrace as his low, sweet voice murmurs, “It’s okay, my sunflower. It’s okay.”
His barely audible, whispered words against my hair make my walls crumble down more. Being cherished by him creates a place where I can finally take a deep breath after feeling like I haven’t been able to breathe for years.
“I—I don’t know what’s wrong,” I tell him between my sobs.
“I have gathered that you’ve carried a lot on your shoulders for years. And now that’s all feeling too much. But if it helps, I’m here for you. With me, you can cry as much as you want.”
That makes me let out a sad chuckle. “I bet you weren’t expecting this when you asked me to join you on this trip.”
“Still, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
It’s hard to explain what this man is doing to me. He’s bringing all my hidden emotions back to the surface just with his presence. With everyone else, even Sally, I’ve been able to put up a strong front, but with him, it seems too damn difficult to keep up the act.
“Same. I’m glad you’re here with me.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
13
SPADE
Since yesterday was beyond emotionally draining for Tanya, we stayed in and spent the rest of our first day in Nags Head inside. I gave her the space she needed and alone time to process her feelings. Her hints about her past paint a beautiful yet tragic picture.
I knew I had to do something when she broke down on that beach. I couldn’t just watch her pain from afar. So I took her in my arms, and we sat there in silence, me comforting her until she started shivering. I swept her into a bridal carry, ignoring curious looks from people who walked past us. Tanya’s been my focus for the past few days, nobody else matters.
Once we returned inside, I got one of the beds ready for her. She took a three-hour nap, and I started another dark romance audiobook before cooking. Later, we had homemade cheeseburgers I made for us, and then spent the evening reading more before bed.
