Page 57 of Dirty Boss

After all, hadn’t I learned my lesson with James? I’d given him everything—sex, love, money, power—and I hadn’t realized he’d been the one using me all along.

It always came down to using. Being used.

How was I supposed to have sex when that was all I knew? When the one time I thought I’d found someone to love, he’d only been with me for my family’s money? For access to that world that was so hollow and false?

Vaughn’s body was still close to mine, and my fingernails curled into the shoulders of his shirt. I expected him to back away, to leave me cold and alone. Wasn’t that the easiest thing to do? I’d rebuffed his advances. I hadn’t put on a show of loving his touch, of wanting to reciprocate. I’d ruined this, just like I’druined my engagement and my affair and my life. Rejection was incoming; it always came after I screwed something up.

But he didn’t back away. His thumb stroked my jaw, and his other hand slid up my hip to rest on the bare skin of my waist beneath my shirt. “Talk to me,” he said.

I huffed a bitter laugh. My bare ass was still pressed against the mirrors. The wetness between my legs had turned cold, and I was trembling in front of him. The situation wasn’t exactly conducive to conversation.

Vaughn didn’t seem to care. He widened his stance, eyes flicking between mine, and held me there.

I gulped. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours.”

Oh, God. I was going to cry. Could this get any more mortifying? My gaze slid over his shoulder, and the thumb on my jaw stilled, then pressed until I met his gaze again.

“Alba,” he said, voice low. “I’m not the kind of guy who ignores it when a woman looks like she isn’t enjoying herself. Is it something I did?”

“What? No.” I shook my head. “It’s just me. I’m messed up.”

“Tell me.”

“I…” I opened my mouth, but no words came out. His thumbs stroked my jaw and my waist, soft and comforting, but I still couldn’t work my voice past the lump in my throat.

Vaughn waited, patient, steady, unmoving.

Finally, I said, “The last guy I had sex with turned out to only want me for my family’s money.”

“That coward from the restaurant.”

I nodded, dropping my eyes to his chin. It was easier than looking at his eyes. “I… All my life, I knew that I would marry someone, that I’d have to appear in society as that man’s wife. SoI had to learn what that meant. How to act. How to dress. How to make him look his best.”

“Like tying his tie.”

My gaze flicked up to his, and I found his eyes serious. I nodded. “Yes.”

“And sex?”

“I wasn’t trained in the art of seduction, if that’s what you mean,” I said, voice tightening. “But sex was never…for me.” On the last word, my voice was a bare whisper. My body was hot and cold, my fingers twitching on his shoulders. I couldn’t meet his gaze. My heart pounded, but I felt it only distantly.

Rejection shimmered nearby, a ghost ready to make itself known. Vaughn would surely take one look at me right now and decide that I was too much work. He could get his rocks off with someone else. Someone who was easier. Someone who wasn’t so messed up.

Instead, Vaughn stepped closer and shifted his hand to grip my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He tilted it up so I had no choice but to meet his gaze. In a low voice, with no hint of judgment, he asked, “What do you need, Alba?”

The question terrified me. I needed a lot of things—shelter, security, food, a job—but I knew that wasn’t what he meant. His gaze was steady, his body unmoving. I knew he wouldn’t turn away from me until I told him the truth. There was something so utterly comforting about that that I had no choice but to tell it to him: “I need to stop thinking so much.”

Understanding flashed across his eyes. He dipped his chin. “Do you want me to help you? Tell you exactly what you need to do, and nothing more? You won’t lose control, Alba. All you’ve got to do is listen to me.”

Yes. I wanted that. I wanted to let go only as far as he would let me. Sucking in a sharp breath, I nodded.

Vaughn leaned forward and brushed his mouth against mine. With his lips still touching me, he said, “You stop this whenever you want. Got it?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Good. Now get on your knees.”