"Now spill it!"She wiggles, gets comfy, rests one arm on the back of the couch, puts her hand in her hair, and begins to twirl a long strand.I smile, remembering how many times we sat up late in our dorm at FSU and talked about all the dreams we had.
I tell her how Bart came into Coyote Ugly the day she left and gave me a sympathy invitation to come clubbing at Been Jammin's because I was sobbing over her.
She knuckle bumps me."Glad I got you in, Love."
I tell her about meeting Cat, getting toasted, and then dancing on the floor to Beyoncé.How Brutus escorted me back and how everyone was so easily fooled.
When I get to the part about meeting Aurei, she says."Fuck me!I need popcorn."
"The first time I saw him."I sigh."Wow!He was so fucking fine!"Then I tell her about seeing him in the lobby.How my world stopped spinning and how he sucked the breath out of me."Just because our eyes touched."I look at her, still shocked."It was fucking crucial!"I tell her how I flirted with Mr.Moore for days before I even learned his first name and when I did, "I was so fucking cool about it!"I laugh."I acted like meeting a man named 'Aurelius' happened every day in LA."
"Shut the fucking door!"She says.Her feet land on the floor, and she pops up with a completely stunned look on her face."Aurelius Moore?"
"Holy Hades!"I stutter."Do you know him?"A vision of Piper in Aurei's Bear Cave in Italy flashes in my panic.
"No!But I'm married to his army bro, Dirk Sam."She waves her hand with her wedding band on it.
"Mother Hera!You've got to be fucking kidding me?"I stand too, stunned by this news."Aurei and I are married too!"I tap my choker."Collared and claimed!We eloped!"
"Wow!What a small fucking world, Siri!"
"Wow, Piper!Karma truly loves me!"
"She surely must!"She throws her head back and laughs."This is so fucking DOPE!Best friends married to best friends!"
She sits back down and waves me to continue.Her posture is completely different this time.Now she sits with one leg under her, leaning forward, hanging on every word.I tell her about the swingers' party, which she loves, and we laugh about how TD was treated.
"Spank that bad boy!"She giggles.
I tell her about Flash and then going to The Stallion."We'll have to dance together there too.One of my long-term clients owns it now."I don't mention Ruth's stupid ass.I simply say we went to Rome to get to know each other better.How we fell so deeply in love so quickly, and "now here I am back in Vegas, married, as happy as I've ever been in my entire life and planning a new gig."
"New gig?"
"Yes.Tonight is my last show as Seary, the Stripper.I'm going to star in a new Cirque du Soleil show featuring Whitney Houston's music."
"SHUT UP!"She slaps at me."No fucking way!"
"Yes, fucking way!"I giggle at her."All my dreams are coming true!So see, I knew I would win the bet.My story is mind-blowing."
"Def!"She laughs and says, all full of sassy ass."But you haven't heard mine yet.Dirk is my stepbrother!"
"What the fuck?"I scream and bounce on the couch."Whaaaaaattttt?Spill it!"
She begins with her stepfather."The Prick had at least one other extramarital affair when he was married to the bitch before my mum, and that one produced an offspring."Then we both get texts, and we stop to read them.
Aurei sends me.
On my way.
"Damn.My times up.Aurei is coming to get me.Oh, wait!We're eating with y'all."I giggle.
She laughs."Dirk wants me to come meet someone.He loves telling our story."She winks and teases me."It's such a shock-filled one."
We stand and hug again.As we walk out, she says."So do you think they told each other who they are married to?Dirk rarely calls me Piper in public.I'm his 'partner, The Brit.'"She giggles."Implying I might be a he."She winks."It's guaranteed to make them curious and a great opener for an ice breaker.He's a natural politician like The Prick.Always networking.People love him.Give me your digits, love."
I smile as we exchange phones, and each enters the other's phone number."I'm so happy you love him too.You were so worried you weren't going to find anyone."
She laughs an evil laugh as she returns my phone and takes hers."I didn't say that.I just said we were married."She cocks her eyebrow.
