Location: Near the Switzerland-Valleria Border
Ethan missed her already. He was still buried inside her, his skin still slick with sweat, her body still under and around him, and he felt so happy and hot and everything.
Yet, he’d have to leave her.
They always had to leave each other. For his job. For hers. For his duties and her missions.
It was nearly the holidays, and he was due back in Valentia for all the family events and the Holiday Ball. He didn’t give a shit about the ball, but he did give a shit about his family so he would go. He missed them, he always did when he was away. He was lucky because, as a royal, he got to see his family more than any of the men he looked after were able to. Still, that didn’t make the time away from his family any easier.
This year, however, was the first year he actually wanted to skip going home. He wanted to take Anda somewhere and disappear, to a place soft and warm and private where they could lay in bed like they were now, make love, talk, and pretend like they were a real couple. That they weren’t just two ships, two shadows moving in the night, joining in the dark and disappearing in the dawn of the next day.
He lifted his head from the crook of her neck where it had been buried, and kissed his way up to her mouth. His hips hitched reactively as soon as his lips touched hers. He could barely touch her without both of them getting aroused, and the taste of her always made him hard in a heartbeat. He kissed her long and slow and deep before he pulled away with a sigh.
He shifted them to their sides and reluctantly slipped out of her. He dealt with the condom then slid back in bed and brought her close again.
“I miss you already,” he admitted.
She nuzzled his chest. “I was just about to say the same thing.”
She shifted her leg between both of his, and he adjusted in return. It was a simple compromise of accommodation that warmed his heart. He could imagine them doing that as a ‘normal’ couple that spent night after night together, if they were ever lucky enough to spend more than one night together at a time.
He rubbed a hand down her back. “Are you going anywhere for the holidays? Doing anything?” In all their too brief time together, she’d never really talked about her family or close friends. “Are you spending it with anyone?”
Her eyes twinkled. “If you mean ‘Am I spending the holidays with another man?’ the answer is no.”
He pulled her tighter against him possessively, instinctively, and his words came out in a low growl. “I wasn’t even thinking about that, and I’m very happy to know you aren’t. I meant family or friends.”
The laughter in her eyes faded. “I don’t have any family left.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry. Will you tell me what happened?”
She shook her head. “Not tonight. I don’t want to…I just want tonight to be about us.”
“Then it will be. I won’t pry, but I’m here when you’re ready to tell me.”
She kissed his neck and relaxed against him. “Thank you.”
His fingers traced a scratch on her collarbone. It was new. Every time he saw her he catalogued each new injury or scratch or flaw on her body. He didn’t mind scratches or flaws—she was fucking beautiful no matter what she looked like or what scars she had—but he did mind what they meant: that she’d been hurt and he hadn’t been there to help her.
It was her job and he knew it was important to her, even if she hadn’t yet shared why. He didn’t really begrudge her the job she held, but he did wish sometimes that he could do it with her.
“Will you be able to take some time off for the holidays, relax a little? You’ve been working too hard.”
“You always say that.”
“I always mean it.” He combed his fingers through her hair, relishing and remembering the feel of it in his hands, a memory he’d have to carry with him through the next few months until they saw each other again.
He’d thought very seriously about becoming an agent since they’d gotten together, had even considered if he could talk Marcello into letting him become one. Yet he knew his brother, he knew all his siblings and his parents, and they would neverlethim—the ‘baby’ of the family—do such a dangerous job.
If he wanted to become an agent, it would have to be on his own without his brother knowing, though some at the VIA would need to know. He’d have to figure out who to tell, and how to accomplish it.
He also wondered if Anda would be offended if he joined her. Maybe she worked better alone, maybe she would think he was insulting her by becoming an agent. He should talk to her about it before he made any moves, and soon.
Not to mention, he loved being a doctor, loved helping people in a practical way where he usually saw a more immediate result. Politics and laws—the purview of his parents and many of his siblings—had their place in society, but the results of those decisions weren’t always noticeable, and sometimes they showed up years down the road. It was typically different in the medical world, unless you were doing research. As a doctor helping the crew, he saw firsthand how much his work helped and literally saved lives, and that was one of the key things he loved about it.
Could he give that up to become an agent? He wasn’t sure yet. But, since meeting her, he’d wanted to do more, to be more for her…to deserve her and be worthy of her.
She hadn’t done a single thing to make him believe he wasn’t worthy, yet he felt it all the same. He still hadn’t quite figured out why he did.
