I’m going to lose him.
I’m going to lose my son.
“There’s no ‘just in case,’” he spits. “We’ll fight this. To our last breath.”
“You should.”
I blink. “What?”
“I said good luck.” Lee’s face betrays nothing. “To all three of you.”
Four.It’s the only coherent thought in my head.There’s not three of us—there’s four.
And the only thing that might have kept Brad from dooming us all? The flash drive, with all the leverage I could’ve used to fight back?
I already destroyed it.
19
MIA
After that, Yulian takes charge. He reassures Eli, puts him in the car with a drowsy-eyed Nikita, and sends him off to school.
When he comes back, he finds me on the bathroom floor.
“Hey.” Yulian grabs my shoulders and tips up my chin. “I meant what I said. We’ll fight this.”
I want to believe him so badly. But Mr. Lee’s words keep swirling in my head, reminding me of how slim my chances are.
“I suggest you spend as much of that time as you can with your son. Just in case.”
Yulian looked like he wanted to rip his face off. But he was right, wasn’t he? Mr. Lee was right: I don’t stand a chance.
I’m not a good mother. I’ve never been good enough for Eli, not really. A judge will take one look at the stove incident and sign off on sole custody for Brad.
I never reported him. Never had the police take pictures of my bruises, never had doctors give me kits. Just hid my head in the sand, disappeared, and prayed he’d never find us again.
But he did find us. And now, he’s going to take everything from me.
I don’t realize I’m hyperventilating until Yulian’s hands come up to my cheeks.
“Mia. Breathe with me.”
I cling to his voice with all I’ve got. His commands, steady and sure—they’re my only anchor to sanity.
If I do as he says, I’ll be okay. If I do as he says?—
“Good girl. Just like that.”
Slowly, the world clears. “I’m sorry,” I rasp. “I’m such a mess.”
“You’re not a mess.” Yulian sounds so confident, but how can he? How, when he’s just seen me lose it over a freaking letter? “This isn’t your fault. None of it. You got that?”
But it is.My secret burns in my chest, all the documents I destroyed. I thought Eli would be better off with Brad being alive, but what if I was wrong? What if this is my punishment?
“Mia. Talk to me.”
I want to. I want to tell Yulian everything so badly. But what will he do when he finds out I’ve lied to him again? What if he decides he can’t trust me?
