I lost my family. I lost one of my two best friends in the world. Now, I’m about to lose the other.
But the friend I thought I knew never existed. He wasn’t alive to begin with.
So he can’t die, either.
“Yul,” Desya wheezes. The wound I carved into the right side of his face is bleeding like a river. Like the black waters of the Hudson beneath our feet. “P-please. We’re even now. Have mercy. Give me one more chance.”
“We’ll never be even.” I step forward, close enough that his blood drips on my shirt. “But I’ll give you a chance, alright. A 99% chance of drowning, and a 1% chance of saving yourself.”
“No—”
“It’s more than you deserve.”
“It’s a death sentence!”
“Is it?” I feign ignorance. “I thought it was mercy.”
I take one more moment to look at him. One endless second, to memorize the boy whom I thought was once my friend.
But we’re not boys anymore. We’re men.
And men face consequences.
“Yulian, don’t.”
“Goodbye, Desya.”
“Yul—”
His body hits the water.
I watch the river swallow it. A maw to hell—pitch-black and inescapable.
From here, his 1% chance looks like nothing.
If there’s a part of me that mourns that, I let it drown, too.
“—lian, wake up!”
I jolt upright. There’s sweat on my back, on my forehead. I’m drenched in it.
I blink in the darkness. “Who’s there?”
“Shh, it’s okay! It’s just me.”
Her voice is a balm. It calms my racing heart in a second. “Mia.”
“Yes,” she whispers in the dark. Her hand finds mine, cool, grounding. “You were having a nightmare.”
Of course. The pier wasn’t real. Or rather, itwasreal—twenty years ago. “Did I wake Eli?”
“No, don’t worry. You weren’t screaming. I got up to get water and saw you tossing on the couch. Are you okay?”
A fresh wave of shame washes through me.I let Mia see me like this.Weak. Vulnerable. That’s not what she needs from me. It’s not what anyone needs of me.
They need me to be thepakhan.
“I’m fine,” I bite out, sharper than I’d meant, yanking my hand free of Mia’s grasp. “You don’t need to concern yourself.”
