Because I’d already given her reason not to trust me.
“Mia, it’s okay,” I whisper, even though it isn’t, not by a longshot. “You don’t need to keep explaining yourself.”
But she shakes her head, frantic, smearing me with black streaks of tears and makeup. “I thought if I found dirt on him, we’d be free—but then I couldn’t find anything—couldn’t make sense of all those documents, all those names?—”
Her breath grows more erratic.
A panic attack. She’s having a panic attack.
Because of me.
I push away the shame and focus on her. “Mia, look at me.”
“I’m s-so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I?—”
“Mia.”
Finally, she lifts her gaze. I grab her face with both hands, push our foreheads together.
“Breathe,” I command. “That’s an order.”
And she does.
At first, it’s hard. Like oxygen wants nothing to do with her anymore. But I guide her through the motions, like I did at StarTech, like I did at the hospital.
Slowly, her breathing steadies.
We stay like that for a few minutes, her body tucked against mine. Even after months of separation, it’s like our bodies have never forgotten how to fit together. Like they’re made for it.
“Sorry,” she says again, calmer this time. “I… I don’t know what came over me.”
ButIdo. She’s been under the pressure of a soldier in the fucking trenches—the pressure of war. For months, she’s been walking on eggshells in a minefield. All while growing a life inside her.
My child’s life.
Shame mixes with possessiveness. Cold, thin ice spreads over the ruins of my heart, fractals reaching to cover every inch of me. My old programming: never feel, never show it if you do. Never let yourself beweak.
And right now, that’s what forgiving Mia would be for me.
Weakness.
My heart hardens back into an iceberg.
I’m not ready to let go yet—to let bygones be bygones. I may have made shitty choices, but so did Mia. She could have come clean. Could have asked me for help that night, or any time after that.
But she didn’t trust me.
So she ran. Hid herself from me—hidmy childfrom me.
And I’ll be damned if I ever let that happen again.
“You’re coming back with me.”
Mia’s gaze darts to mine. “What?”
“Starting today, you’re going to live with me. At my place.”
Her brow knits. “I can’t just disappear, Yulian. I need to find dirt on Brad, I?—”
