“I’m their fucking boss.” He stalks up to me, his body language furious. “I don’t fuck up because I can’t fuck up. That’s it.”
“Wow.” I cross my arms and fix him with a disappointed look. “I’d love to live in such a simple world.”
“You think my life issimple?That I want this?”
“Don’t you?”
He takes one more aggressive step. He’s towering fully over me now, angrier than I’ve seen him in ages. “This is my duty,” hesays. “My legacy. Turning my back on it, living a life outside of it—they’re all luxuries I can’t afford. And making a mistake? It’s the last thing I can do.”
His words dig deep inside me. This side of Yulian feels new. A curtain has been shifted on hispakhanpersona, allowing me to see past the barked orders and furious reprimands.
Guilt bubbles up inside me. For saying all those things, for pushing him this far. “You’re human too,” I say. “You’re allowed?—”
“No, I’m not.” His voice is steel. “I’m not allowed to get it wrong. Because if I do, people die.” His face twists into a complicated expression. A mix of fury, denial—and love. “You, Eli, our baby. If I don’t play this perfectly…”
His hand touches my cheek. There’s a faint tremor there, something like relief.
I can tell, because I feel it, too.
He’s safe.
He’salive.
He’s still with me.
I reach for his hand. He doesn’t pull it back. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
And while he doesn’t say anything to that—because he can’t, because his pride won’t allow it—he squeezes back, just a little. Just enough to let me know he feels the same.
Just enough to let me breathe again.
36
YULIAN
I hold Mia close until she falls asleep.
For hours, I watch her. Stroke her hair, her back, the curve of her pregnant belly. Keep her near me, tucked against the broad expanse of my chest as if it could protect her from harm. As if I could shield her from everything.
But I can’t.
It’s a hard truth to swallow. Until now, I’ve acted as if I’m invincible, when the world has already proved to me that I’m not. That bullet that grazed her at our engagement party, so long ago—that was a sign.
Just because nothing happened to her tonight, it doesn’t mean it won’t next time.
She isn’t safe. Not with me, not with anyone.
Not until Desya’s sick game is over.
It’s that thought that pushes me out of bed. Mia stirs in her sleep, searching blindly for my warmth that’s suddenlydisappeared. It kills me to leave her like this, but I don’t have a choice.
I have to act tonight.
I slip out of the penthouse like a thief. It’s the dead of night, hours before dawn.
Maksim greets me outside my door. “Going for a midnight walk?”
“Something like that.” My gaze flicks back to the apartment. “Don’t leave them unguarded. Not for any reason.”
