Myles
I have no idea whether I just made the worst decision of my life or the best.I could have kept what I knew to myself.I didn’t need to open Pandora’s box.
There was a risk to that plan, though.Chances were, eventually, Madison would have remembered what happened in the car last night.Either way, she’s mortified.
I know she’s still in the kitchen.I haven’t heard a single noise from her since I stepped into the living room and started pacing.
The thing I can’t shake is that she specifically told me she has dreams.A person might be able to control errant thoughts when they’re awake, but dreams are the product of the subconscious mind.They’re telling.
So, now what?
Minutes tick by.I wander to the windows and stare out at the ocean.I love this view.It’s so peaceful.Madison might have dreams and machinations about me dominating her, and it brings me to my knees that I have the same exact fantasies.But I want more.I want to stand here with her wrapped in my arms in front of me while we both look at the amazing view of the Puget Sound.
I want to set my chin on the top of her head and just be.
I’m forty-three years old.I’ve never had thoughts like that about any other woman.There is nothing about this situation that’s okay.Even though I didn’t pine over Madison lustily when she was underage, who would ever believe that?
If the roles were reversed, and I was Hendrix,Iwould kick my ass into the ocean and leave me to drown.
She was nineteen the first time her presence made my breath catch in my throat.Before that, she was a kid.She was kind of nerdy in high school, which there’s nothing wrong with.I like the fact that she’s bookish and studious.
I don’t think she liked her geeky reputation in high school.I think she felt awkward and didn’t fit in.She didn’t date, and she rarely went anywhere on the weekends.She had friends, but they were like her and worked hard.Sometimes, they had sleepovers or got together to study.
Hendrix worried about her, but I know he was also relieved that she never gave him heart palpitations or got into trouble growing up.Maybe the reason she has naughty schoolgirl fantasies is because she never misbehaved in her youth.
I doubt she acts out now.I believe that last night was a one-off.I trust she wouldn’t do something so careless again.But I’ve set the path, and I can’t back down.
Things really went sideways in a hurry when I saw her in her room wearing that towel and she sassed me.I had no business suggesting I would yank the towel off and spank her.It was the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever said.It’s opened a door I can’t close.
And that little speech I just gave her?I must be out of my mind.
I sense her presence behind me, but I don’t turn around.I’m going to let her make the next move.
“Why am I moving in with you, Myles?”she asks in a faint voice.
Her words and tone are unexpected.Her question is filled with a million smaller ones.I don’t have the answers.Well, I do.But they aren’t appropriate.
I look over my shoulder and reach out a hand, saying nothing.It’s an olive branch.Or a plea.Or a foolish move.I don’t know.
She shuffles toward me.
As soon as she’s close enough, I pull her in front of me and nestle her back against my front—exactly where I’ve dreamed of having her.I wrap my arms around her and set my chin on top of her head.
This ismydream.It’s completely inappropriate to have ever thought of holding her, and I’m crossing a huge line by acting on it, but I can’t help myself.
She slowly relaxes in my embrace, saying nothing while we watch the water lap against the shore.At least, that’s what I’m doing.I guess I can’t be sure she even sees the water.Depends on how deep she’s in her mind.
“How’s your head?”I finally ask before I kiss the top of it like an idiot.
“Better,” she whispers.
“Let’s go get your things.”I’m reluctant to break the connection we have—both physically and mentally.But we really should get going.She’s right about confronting her roommates.I’m not really interested in talking to them.I’d rather get in and get out while they’re nursing their hangovers in bed.
The ride to the house is quiet.I grip the steering wheel; Madison wrings her fingers together in her lap.
A relieved exhale escapes her when we step into her house and find it silent.She glares at me when I follow her into her room.“Seriously?”she hisses, shutting the door.
I smirk.“I don’t joke about important things.”
