Disappointing Cross is its own hell.
When Dad was alive, he only ever had to look at me a certain way, and I’d do whatever it took to never see that look again. The idea of letting him down was too much to bear. Since Dad’s death, Cross has stepped into that role with an uncomfortable ease.
“We had a game in Seattle, B. Whatever news broke, broke right as the game was ending, and we got hit with questions as soon as they saw us.” Ares is telling me the same thing Cross did, but he doesn’t seem quite as pissed. At least not yet. “Is this why you’ve been ignoring me?”
“Yes,” I offer weakly. “I wanted to talk to you. To both of you. But I’d hoped to talk to Mom first.”
“Maybe you should have done that two weeks ago then, B.” Anger is rolling off my oldest brother in heavy waves. “What the hell is going on? Did you seriously marry Lennon’s brother? The fucking king? Did he force you into this? I’ll fucking kill him.”
There’s my big brother.
The one who still thinks he can protect me from everything.
“We’llfucking kill him,” Ares agrees, reminding Cross he’s not alone.
The Wilders against the world. Two of the best hockey players in the country. They’re enough to make grown menshake, and yet I don’t think my husband would be concerned in the least. Why is that kinda hot?
“You can’t kill a king,” I warn them as I roll my eyes like the petulant child they seem to think I am.
“Watch me, B.” Cross’s anger seems to be growing by the second, and I’m worried I’m about to lose any chance I have of controlling this narrative. If I can’t get them on my side, how am I supposed to win over a country?
It looks like now or never.
Here goes nothing.
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but I’m not sorry I married Rhys.” I watch my brothers closely. The two of them are most likely sitting at some desk in what I assume is a hotel in Seattle.
“I’m sorry... what?” Ares asks me, shocked. I guess that wasn’t the answer he was expecting. “You’re really married to him? This isn’t some kind of mistake?”
I shake my head. “I was going to tell you the day after it happened, but then the king died... Everything happened so quickly after that, and we decided it was best for both of us to keep things quiet until after the funeral. And before you make some kind of crack about him hiding me, it was as much out of respect for me as it was for his grandfather. The country was in shock. Rhys’s grandfather was the longest-reigning monarch in the world. If we’d have shown up hand in hand, the eyes of the whole world would have been on us. The story would have revolved around us instead of the king.”
Even just the thought of that has my skin crawling.
“But I was here, and we were married.” I sit down on the bed and lean back against the headboard, needing the support. “I’m sorry you found out like this. You probably won’t believe me, but I was planning on telling you guys and Mom today.”
“Does Lennon know?” Ares asks, trying to piece it all together.
“I think Rhys called her last night,” I admit, wishing I had done the same. “And before you say anything, I did call Mom last night, but she didn’t answer, and I didn’t leave a message. This isn’t exactly the kind of thing you want to find out from a voicemail.”
“Or a reporter,” Cross counters, and I feel myself shrinking. “You don’t even know him, B. What were you thinking?”
The best lies are based in truth. At least I think that’s what I learned from one of my favorite murder podcasts. Here goes nothing. “I was thinking I wanted to marry him, Cross. I was thinking this is my life, and I have to live it. Not you or Ares or Mom. I was thinking about that teenager who didn’t know if she’d ever even live to get married and how she’d never believe she’d end up finding her own prince charming an ocean away and that he’d make her his queen.”
All true. I’m just choosing to leave out the truth about me never wanting a prince charming or a kingdom. I just wanted a man who would put me first and keep me safe and love me until the day I died, whether that was in my twenties or my eighties.
Cross absorbs what I’m saying, but Ares’s eyes narrow. “Is he good to you? Because king or not, if he doesn’t love you, he’s an idiot. You are everything that’s good in this world, little sister. You have a heart that’s so big and so pure, and you deserve to be happy.”
“Are you happy, Bellamy?” Cross adds on to Ares’s questions. “Because if you’re not, we’ll skip tomorrow’s game and fly to Mornea to take you home.”
Tears well in my eyes.
These men have been my rocks my whole life.
When I was stuck in the hospital for months at a time, they took turns staying with me when our parents couldn’t. Theynever left me alone. They held the buckets when I puked up my entire body weight after chemo treatments and lay in bed next to me, watching me breathe, willing it so when I wasn’t so sure I could.
My brothers are good men.
They’re the best.
