“Come, Rhys.” Hoarse words push past her dried lips as she reaches for me with a shaking hand. “Sit with me, darling.”
I ignore the doctor in the corner of her room and move to the side of her bed, trying desperately to keep it together as I take her frail hand between mine.
Unable to speak.
Unsure what to say, even if I could.
Mother’s gaze drifts over my face, like she’s committing it to memory before a sad smile seems to take far too much energy from her. “I’m so sorry, darling. I wanted you to have a lifetime before this weight was yours to bear, but I’m afraid that lifetime was destined to be much shorter than I’d hoped...” She swallows with tears filling her tired eyes. “It’s going to be yours now.”
“No, Mum.” I shake my head, refusing to accept what she’s saying. And suddenly I understand Grandfather’s insistence even more. “It’s still yours, Mum,” I murmur and force down the emotion clogging my throat. “I don’t want it.”
“Look at me, Rhys...” Her words are stronger than I thought she’d be capable of. “We both know I don’t have much time left.”
My heart cracks painfully in my chest, and I drop down into the seat next to her bed.
“My God, I wish it wasn’t true, darling, but it’s our reality now. I wish I wasn’t leaving any of you. Not your sister, or brother, or father, but especially not you. My wish has always been for you to live as free of a life as possible for as long as possible. I’d hoped I live to a ripe old age and that the crown wouldn’t be so close to you for so many more years to come, but I’m afraid that’s not in the cards for us.” She pulls our hands to her lips and kisses my signet ring.
“But it can be,” I whisper, knowing I sound like a child but simply not giving a fuck. I’d give anything to be a child again if it meant I’d get another twenty years with her.
“It can’t, Rhys.” Her smile is tired and barely touches her lips as she shakes her head. “Tell me I did a good job. Tell me I taught you how to be smart and fair and empathetic. Tell me I taught you how to balance duty with honor and respect and love. Tell me you’ll do that last part better than I ever did.”
A flurry of moments frozen in time flash behind my eyes. Each one tugging at another breaking piece of my heart. Thousands of memories of being by my mother’s side as I learned what my future held.
How to rule a kingdom.
How to protect our people.
How to navigate the politics of it all.
How to be king.
“You did,” I finally manage to promise as I lean closer to her. “I listened to every word, Mum. Each lesson. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be okay.”
Lies.
All lies.
I ignored half the lessons she gave because I thought I’d have a lifetime to learn this shit. Grandfather may be older than dirt, but Mother is barely in her fifties. I thought I had forty fucking years before I’d be looking so closely down the line at the goddamned throne.
Mum closes her eyes and sighs as her shoulders relax, like I just gave her permission to do so, and it dawns on me that’s what she needs most from me now.
My reassurance.
My permission.
I’ll carry more weight in my life than most ever will, but I doubt any of them will be heavier than that realization.
I was always going to be the one with her when the time came.
Her heir.
Her future.
Her replacement.
“I’ll take care of Lennon and Atticus.”
“Promise me,” she whispers, and the first tear I’ve ever seen my mother cry slides down her sunken cheek in a delicate line.
