Perhaps if that had been the end of it, the burden would’ve been manageable. Instead, the third time I’d been caught sleepwalking and obliviously muttering the full-blown exchange I’d had with Giada about the night Isabella Salvatore died, and exactly who had pulled the trigger that ended her life, he’d summoned the three most terrifying capos in his hierarchy. And between them I’d been left in no doubt what would happen to me if I ever divulged the biggest secret in the Mancinelli family.
The roar in my head that said I was about to pass out intensified. I barely clocked Cesare surging to his feet and striding across the room. In the next moment, a glass was being pushed into my hand.
Orange juice.
It was almost laughable, and deeply puzzling, how even now he was taking care of me. He should have hated me with the fire of a thousand suns. I drank half of the contents, almost regretting it when the noise in my head receded. Because then I had to make room for what came next. And I knew it wasn’t going to be good.
He perched on the bed, never taking his arctic eyes off me. ‘Did your sister kill my mother, Maddelena?’ he grated out.
The chiselling ripped another chunk. ‘The real truth is I didn’t see it happen. So I don’t know.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means my sister never confirmed or denied it.’
A curse ripped from him.
‘Tell me everything that happened. Do not leave anything out.’
I didn’t. I recited memories locked in my brain for five years, and he listened with a frozen expression. Then stared at me for the longest time when I was done.
‘So what now?’ I whispered.
Mouth pursed, he exhaled audibly. ‘This is too big to let it go, Maddelena.’ Solemn. Grave.Final.
He’d never used that tone before and it scared the crap out of me.
‘Not even to protect me?’ I tried, lilting my voice in a sorry attempt to be jovial.
His expression didn’t waver. ‘No. My family deserves to know.’
Fear resurged, locking in my heart. Most people pondered at some point or another when and how they would die. Those from violence-mongering families like mine risked it becoming a preoccupation.
Knowing that I could sign my own death warrant by revealing my flaws was why I hadn’t fought Bonafacio’s ban on me having relationships.
It was the reason he and my father hadn’t pushed me into marrying until they could find a husband they could fully control. The hands I raised to my face shook uncontrollably, the tears I was trying to hide unstoppable.
‘When?’ I whispered, abstractly noting the macabre peace in knowing when I would die.
He didn’t reply immediately. To my surprise, he captured my trembling hands and drew them down from my face. ‘That’s to be decided. But probably not before Orazio’s birthday.’ He must have read the question in my face because he added, ‘He’s turning eighty next month.’
He surged to his feet and prowled across the room, digging his fingers through his hair. As he turned, I caught the anguish on his face. And my belly dipped in alarm. He might not haverelished turning me over to the firing squad that was his family but Cesare planned on doing it anyway.
I drew the duvet off me, planted my feet on the floor, relieved to find the weakness from before had receded. I rose and headed for the clothes strewn at the bottom of the bed. ‘So I have until then?’
Eyes so dark they were almost black narrowed at me. ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’
I froze. ‘L-leaving. You can’t… you can’t expect me to stay.’
‘I fucking can and you fucking will.’
My bewildered gaze darted to the bed. ‘You can’t possibly want to… to keep doing this…?’
‘Why the hell not? You haven’t stopped being beautiful just because you’re carrying a horrifying secret.’ He ignored my flinch, a rough fury building in his face as he closed the gap between us. ‘And I sure as fuck haven’t stopped craving you.’ He dragged his fingers through his hair once more. ‘And even if I had…’ He exhaled, the same bewilderment ploughing through me, visible on his face. ‘I don’t think I can let you go.’
‘What are you s-saying, Cesare?’
‘I’m saying that once this comes out, the best protection you’re going to find is with me.’
