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All of my composure is gone.

All of the air in my lungs is gone too.

“Ethan.”

“Hello, Isabelle.”

At first, I wondered if I’m dreaming. I know I’m not though because I burnt my tongue on my caramel latte this morning and I can still feel the raw spot when I swallow. Then I wonder if this is a joke. But the smile on his face, a soft, sweet smile in the corners of his lips, tells me I’m wrong about that too.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“This is my magazine.”

“Your…” I trail off, feeling light headed.

Ethan rushes around the desk and pulls out the chair. “Sit. Please.”

I nod, collapsing into the chair. My mouth is still agape and my head is spinning, enough that I feel like A human bobble head right now. So sexy, I know.

Ethan hands me a glass of water before taking a seat in front of me.

“I didn't know this was your magazine,” I say when my mouth finally remembers how to form words again.

“It’s new. A few months in the making.”

“That’s amazing.”

Ethan smiles. “Thank you. The opportunity presented itself and I thought, why not?”

“So you…you’re the CEO?”

“CEO. Editor in chief. I also write an occasional sports column. Everything from Coors Field events to the runners club to stats for the Frisbee Golf tournaments.”

“Frisbee golf,” I parrot in a failing attempt to keep up. Then my eyes dart up to meet his. “So you don’t work for NBT anymore?”

“Fuck no,” he leans back in his chair. “That night I walked out of there, that was my last. When your dad resigned, he actually left it to me.”

I nearly choke on my water and reach for a tissue. “I’m sorry, he what?”

Ethan chuckles. “That was my response too. And I thought about it for a bit. But then I realized I just wanted to wash my hands of it. It was bought out shortly after, some Chicago big shot. Not sure how it’s going, but honestly I don’t care.”

“And how is this going?” I ask, motioning around the room.

“Well, actually. But we do need more writers.” His eyes land on me and I stop.

“You want to hire me.” I state the obvious.

“I do. Like I said, we need writers. The best writers. And I happen to know you are impeccable at what you do, Izzy.”

I chew my lip, unsure what to say. “I thought…I mean…we haven’t…”

“I also heard what you did for me.”

I stop. “What I did?”

“At League. I went in for an interview for the editor in chief position and they said they almost gave it to someone else, except that she turned it down because she thought I should get the job. I know it was you.”

I swallow and nodd. Then, without warning, tears spill from my eyes. “I’m sorry Ethan. I am sorry that I never told you about Jax. I’m sorry I was terrible to you all those years. I am sorry thateven after you helped me, after you took care of us, I still wasn’t honest with you.”