His outline blurs through my unshed tears.
“No, my love. Even then, you were all I could think about. But then, when Darra told me she was pregnant, I suppressed those feelings. I had created another human being, it was no longer about what I wanted. They had to take priority.”
I sob and Elijah pulls my head against his chest, smoothing my hair, kissing my hair.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you. I wasn’t sure you felt the same way. When you told me you were happy for me and Darra, I was gutted. I thought it was all one way, and I’d misread the situation.”
“Jax never told you?”
“Told me what?”
“I went out that night and got incredibly drunk. I called him, and he collected me. Sat with me all night while I threw up. Made me drink some bloody awful concoction the following morning.”
“He never said a word,” Elijah admits. “And that would be his magic hangover cure. Tastes like shit, but is surprisingly effective.”
“He’s a good friend.”
“He is. You were the only other person apart from Jax who didn’t care about my last name. Treated me like any other pain in your ass.”
I chuckle as a tear runs down my cheek.
Elijah catches it with his thumb.
“Don’t cry,” he whispers. “It’s breaking my heart.”
“I thought I was crazy, that I’d misread our friendship. I felt like such a fool.”
“Why?” he asks.
“Because why would someone like you, tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, and wealthy, ever look at or want someone like me?”
It’s his turn to stare wide-eyed at me.
“Why on earth would you think that? You were perfect for me. You are perfect.” Elijah shakes his head. “If anything, you’ve always been too good for me. You’re smart, beautiful, driven. Everyone you meet loves you.”
“But you had Darra. She was the perfect girlfriend, she looked and acted the part. Everyone said so.”
“Well, everyone was wrong.Actedbeing the operative word. Darra was all about my name. She even admitted as much before she announced she was pregnant. She wanted us to be the perfect power couple. Love never came into it for her.” He sighs. “You saw my mum and dad. Love is what we were raised to believe in.”
He drops his lips to mine, showing me in a single kiss the truth in his words, and something inside me thaws, a new warmth spreading throughout my body.
“I love you, Penelope Dawson. I’ve waited a long time for you. Please say you’ll marry me.”
“But we’ve barely spoken outside of work for the past fifteen years. It’s been all business,” I point out.
“And you think that’s been easy? I built a wall. Initially, because it wasn’t fair to either you or Darra. I wanted to give my marriage a chance. See if I could make something of it. But it takes two, and then when I found out about Lottie. It all seemed so pointless.”
He pauses, his face twisting in pain.
“After that, Darra and my relationship soured. I still wasn’t free. She held Lottie over me at every turn. However much Iwanted to reconnect, I couldn’t turn my back on my child or the secret I was being forced to keep. Reconnecting would have hurt more than I could bear. You were so successful. My family loved you. I was jealous of my brothers and sisters who got to spend time with you.”
I raise a hand and cup his cheek, letting him know I understand.
“I wouldn’t have expected you to. I love Lottie, and I’m sorry she was used against you. You’re an amazing father.”
“I had no idea you saw me as anything other than a friend. Not that I could have done anything. I would never have asked anything of you when I couldn’t give you one hundred per cent of myself.”
“So you built a fortress around yourself. Wanted to keep your troubles away from those around you,” I say, realising the full scale of what he’s been through.
