“When are you flying out for the wedding?” Caleb asks, his eyes once again flipping between us.
“The Thursday before,” he says, but his eyes never leave mine.
“Elijah?”
I move my gaze from Gabriel to Caleb.
“I’m not going,” I tell him, holding his gaze.
Caleb quirks a brow.
“Not going?”
“No—Not going. Pen is aware. We spoke about it. Someone needs to stay with Lottie.”
Caleb crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair.
“You’re not going to Pen’s wedding?” He stares at me wide-eyed, like I’ve lost my mind. “What the fuck, Elijah? After everything.”
Caleb glares at me. It is the same look I got from Gabriel when I told him. Only then it was Leah, who stepped in and broke us apart before my little brother could do anything.
“Look, I can’t,” I tell him quietly, holding my voice steady.
I don’t expect them to understand. I’m not one hundred per cent sure I do.
“Why can’t you?” Caleb’s voice deflates as if he’s giving up on me. “She was your best friend. I’m sure Lottie could stay with one of her friends’ parents.”
Bloody hell, drop it.
I hate talking about feelings. My counsellor explained that as the eldest, I’ve spent years trying to protect my siblings, my parents, from my mistakes, from the world itself. But in doing so, I’ve buried my own wants and needs deep inside. Pen is one of them.
“Because I want her to be happy,” I tell him truthfully after a moment.
A furrow appears between both of my brother’s brows. If it wasn’t for Caleb’s tan, I would struggle to tell them apart.
A dawning crosses Caleb’s face.
“You’re in love with her.”
Gabriel harrumphs at his twin.
“For goodness sake. Newsflash, he’s always been in love with her.”
I grab my beer, placing the bottle to my mouth. Swigging it down.
“Have you told her?” Caleb asks.
As if it’s just that simple.
I drop the bottle away from my mouth and stare at him.
“Why the bloody hell would I want to do that? She’s about to marry someone else, get everything she desires. I know I can be a dick, but I’m not that big of one.”
Caleb’s eyes narrow, and he compresses his lips.
“Oh, I don’t know. Because she’s been in love with you, for like forever!”
“She’s marrying another man,” I snap, really not needing to hear this bullshit.
