‘So dobetter,’ she said. ‘Don’t just throw money at the problem and walk away. Are you really not going to be there for your ownchild?’
Their baby deservedeverything. And, heaven help her,she’dwanted everything.
‘I’ll see it when I visit,’ he muttered tightly.
It.How was he back toit? ‘And how often is that going to be?’
He didn’t answer. But Phoebe already knew. It would never be often enough.
‘Our baby needs you.’ Agonised, her heart was shredded. ‘Ineed you—’
* * *
‘No.’
Edo turned away, unable to keep looking at her. She was right. It wasn’t good for either her or their child to be around him, but not only because of his security concerns. He would let her down and he would let the child down, and it was better for her to know that now. It was better to make this mess certain.
When he’d woken alone this morning and couldn’t find her in the apartment, nightmare moments had become minutes. Honestly, he couldn’t survive another moment of that kind of agony, so his close involvement had to endimmediately. He’d lost his cool with his security team, but he wasiratewith her. She’d shrugged off her protection so casually, socarelessly. He’d told her about Dante and she still didn’t get it. Didn’t factor in his feelings.
And why should she when his feelings clearly weren’t her primary concern. God, he’dwantedher to factor them in. He’dwantedher to care. But the emotion he’d thought he’d seen in her eyes just then hadn’t beenrealbecause she’d gone out regardless. And, even if it was real, then it wasn’t right—she wouldn’t be happy with him because at some point he would fail her. And he wanted her to be happy. But, more importantly than anything else, he wanted her to be safe. She would be safer in so many ways without him.
‘Edo—’
‘It was my fault,’ he said brusquely.
He was as bad as his grandfather. As blind. He would screw them up in an unforgivable way.
‘What?’
‘Dante’s abduction was my fault.’ He spun back to face her. ‘It was raining and we were late. I was impatient and wouldn’t wait for him. I tossed him my jacket and told him to walk. I didn’t mean it, it’s just that he was slow. Always so slow. I pushed ahead and was idling at the corner when the van swung in. They thought he was me.’
‘Edo…’ She paled. ‘And you saw it?’
‘From too far away to do anything,’ he muttered. ‘I let him down that day. Again when I couldn’t convince them to pay the ransom. And again when I focused on making money to help him instead of justbeingthere. My grandfather was emotionally inept and I’m the same. We’re missing something vital, Phoebe. Like I already told you, I’m not fit to be a father.’
White and breathless, she looked as worried as he’d felt five minutes ago. ‘That’s not true.’ She moved closer. ‘It wasn’t your fault.Noneof that was your fault.’
She was wrong.
She stepped closer. ‘And you’re not alone in this. We can do this together, raise this baby together—’
No. Pain whistled in Edo’s lungs. Because he saw it then—the caring he wanted. The caring he couldn’t let her give to him. ‘You and me are good together in bed. That’s all.’
She stilled.
‘It’s all it is, all it’s ever been,’ he pushed, needing to make herwantto leave. ‘Stress release. You said it yourself. It’s all you wanted from me.’
There was a sharp silence before defiance sparked in her eyes. ‘It’s all you wanted to let me have.’
That hit. Her mouth opened but he wouldn’t—couldn’t—let her say anything more. ‘I thought you weren’t going to give everything up for a guy again.’
Phoebe flinched at his caustic vehemence. ‘I’m not, I’m—’
‘No?’ He stepped forward, his words acidic and mocking. ‘Then you’re what? What were you about tooffer?’
Anger poured from him now and pushed into her. What had she been going to offer?Everything. Because that was what she did. And you know what? That was okay. That was her and it was what she’d do for anyone—everyone—she loved. Including him.
‘I’m not going to apologise for how Ifeel.’ She thrust back into his space. ‘I’m not going to apologise for who Iam.’
