If Ryan had kitted out a home office for her, he’d have done the big reveal with a full audience in tow. And he’d have expected a ticker-tape parade and balloons spelling outThank Youfrom her. Whereas Edo hadn’t even admitted to her that he’d done it all himself. Maybe that was because her reaction didn’t really matter to him, but honestly—it still meant more to her.
‘He wanted to win me. Publicly,’ she explained. ‘Then we were the cute couple on campus. I didn’t realise how performative it was. The wedding was his idea—a rush job in a registry office—it was so-old fashioned it was “cool”, and we were for ever, and he wanted everyone else to want to be us…which in hindsight was very cringe. But I just believed in it—in him—when he said he loved me. I finally feltwanted. I thought I had the whole dream and I just fell so hard.’
He’d been someone to pour allherlove into.
‘He got an internship up north and I dropped out of university to follow him. I took an office job to help us financially. But then he changed, he needed someone equal to him to climb the corporate ladder with—not some low-level office administrator. And he found her in less than six months.’
He’d needed a more perfect partner for his next phase. He’d found a new target, relentlessly pursued her, acquired her. Phoebe had only found out when his lover confronted her in the street. She’d rushed home to beg Ryan to deny it. He hadn’t. Instead he’d blamed her—for holding him back, being boring and having no ambition. That had hurt a lot. Because he’d wanted her to supporthisambition. Phoebe had felt completely betrayed and unwanted again.
‘I gave up everything,’ she said. ‘I left my friends. My university plans. Most of all I lost myself in trying to be what he wanted.’
She’d not been enough to hold his attention—just as she’d not been enough for her parents. She would never trust anyone would ever commit to her again. And Edowasn’t, was he.
Edo’s grip on her wrist gentled. ‘Phoebe, to give up everything for someone else shows a kind of generosity and courage most people never have. You’re passionate. You’re all in. That’s not—’ He shook his head. ‘He didn’t know how lucky he was.’
She smiled at him sadly. Edo was wrong. Being ‘all in’ had been her mistake. To dive into anything in such an extreme way wasn’t healthy. It had blinded her and she’d made bad choices. ‘But I should have held onto the things that were important to me. Not got so lost—and not lost so much time. Because the stupid thing is I don’t know if I really loved him or if it was just thatIwanted to be loved.Iwas soneedyI was willing to do anything to be sure of that love,’ she confessed. ‘It took so little for him to convince me, and nothing for him to have an affair.’
‘You weren’t wrong in everything—you just picked the wrong guy. He was an idiot not to appreciate you.’ He frowned and rubbed his head. ‘What did you do?’
Her parents had been overseas, of course, and she’d not told them. Not asked for the support she knew wasn’t within their capabilities. She wasn’t doing that now either.
‘I went to London. I was alone but it was better. I worked so hard—I did evening classes and upskilled. I met Elodie when I took a bunch of accountants to an escape room for a team building exercise. She was the manager there, and she hired Bethan, who then became my flatmate. We formed our divorced wives club—we were never, ever going to marry again.’
She chuckled hopelessly and stared down at his hold on her wrist. ‘Only I just have. But only so none of this stuff happens to this baby. This child is going to know they’re wanted and loved. Absolutely, unconditionally andalways.’
She looked up after a moment. But Edo didn’t move, didn’t answer. She’d just done all the talking again and now he didn’t even seem to be breathing.
* * *
Edo sat like stone, too busy processing to think what to say.
Two rushed weddings. Two rubbish honeymoons. Two terrible wedding nights. She deserved so much better than what either he or the ex had given her. She’d given everything up for love once and she didn’t want to lose herself again so no wonder she’d been reluctant to marry him. Frustration filled him because he’d basically made her. The least he could do was help her understand why he was the stunted creature he was. Why her security was so vital to him.
She tried to pull her wrist free. ‘Anyway, I should—’
‘When Dante was kidnapped, my grandfather refused to pay the ransom,’ he blurted.
‘What?’
He couldn’t look at her. He released her wrist and gripped the edge of his chair instead so he couldn’t walk off this time. She deserved more from him. Deserved as much of the truth as he could actually manage.
‘My father died when I was ten—speedboat accident.’ He glossed over the fact his father had been a spoiled thrill-seeker. ‘Mother, Dante and I moved in with his father. My grandfather worked deals that were on the edge—he made a lot of money, but a few enemies as well, and he flaunted his excess. His intention was for me to take over the company and everyone knew it.’ But Edoardo had never wanted to take on his business. ‘He said if he gave in then the demands would only escalate and that the risk of it happening again would also increase.’
He breathed out. ‘Dante was held for almost three weeks.’ Twenty endless days and nights of terror and guilt. So much guilt.
‘I hated my grandfather for it. Fought him. Tried so many other ways to get the money. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t do everything possible to get Dante back.’ He still felt sick—he’d been so powerless.
‘You would have gone to the ends of the earth,’ she said softly.
‘I would have done anything.’ He hid his face as the guilt consumed him. Because he’d then made the same mistake. He’d been as blind as his grandfather. ‘It was a miracle that Dante was recovered alive but he was never the same. Nor was my mother,’ he said heavily. It had crushed him. It had crushed his mother. And it had destroyed Dante.
‘I was determined to care for Dante after that—without needing any input from our grandfather. I refused to be his heir, refused to go into his business. Instead, I started my own. But I got fixated on financial security, on building a reserve.’
‘A safety net,’ she said softly.
He jerked a nod. He’d wanted to make things better for his brother, but he’d been blinkered. ‘I thought I was helping. I didn’t notice that Dante started to self-medicate. Alcohol, drugs. I was working such long hours I wasn’t there for him. By the time I realised he was…’ he shook his head. ‘… I got him into the best clinic I could but…’
Edo had been heartbroken by his failure to help Dante, to not give him the emotional security he’d needed. And it had been his fault from the beginning.
