Phoebe stepped into the shower, hoping the steam might clear her fuzzy head. She soaped her sensitive body and as impossible as it ought to have been, lust flickered. She closed her eyes, willing herself to keep both arousal and tears at bay. But she’d never felt pleasure of the kind she did with Edo. She’d never wanted it—him—more. Which was dangerous. Wanting anything this much—be it someone or something—put her at risk. Extremes were unhealthy. She only had to think of her parents to know that. She had to take control of herself.
Ryan, her first husband, had been her only other lover and for him she’d dived headfirst into being theperfectwife. She’d tried so stupidly hard for months. Until the day she’d found out he was cheating. When she’d confronted him he’d said it was because she was boring—with no education, no hobbies of her own. She had no colour or vibrancy. So it wasn’thisfault he’d had to go elsewhere to find it.
His attack had crushed her because every word he’d said—up till that point—had been true. She’d changed herselfforhim. She’d given up the things she’d wanted because she’d put Ryan’s wishes before hers. She’dcravedthe emotional security she’d thought he offered, had been so desperate to hold onto it that she’d done everything to keep his attention. To keep him happy she’d agreed to whatever he wanted. She’d made it so easy for him to treat her like a door mat because she’d become one. Never arguing, never denying him. As she’d sensed his distance increasing, she’d become more desperate to please. Less like herself. So never,evercould she do that again.
Except the lust she felt with Edo was a billion times more powerful. She couldn’t let herself fall for him in other ways. Especially knowing he didn’t want to actually include her in his life. He kept so much of himself from her, it was obvious he didn’t want to deepen their intimacy beyond the physical. He didn’t want to be a husband, and not a father either. Ultimately he wanted their base to be far from him.
But part of her still wished for more for the baby. Maybe there would be magic when Edo met his child for the first time. Maybe then he might want to offer it more than physical and financial security. For that reason, she had to remain here. Her child deserved that chance. But she could claw backheremotional safety—protect herself. She would be careful and controlled, and not let Edoardo Benedetti sweep her off her feet. She would not agree to everything he asked. She would keep far enough away.
And at least, unlike Ryan, he was honest. He wasn’t pretending to be in love with her. Sex might be nothing more than a stress release for him, but she was now certain he enjoyed it as much as she. Maybe she would ask for just enough. Maybe that would help cure her of this desire—a little something for herself during these few months.
Because she would be true toherself. She would build her business. She would have what she wanted. Ask for it. Take it.
Even from Edo.
She found him sprawled on the sofa in the house, a drink in hand, a dish of olives on the table at his side, clearly ignoring the pile of papers beside him.
He cocked his head as she walked towards him. ‘You would like dinner?’
‘Not particularly.’
His eyebrows lifted. ‘Then what would you like?’
She waited as he sipped his drink. ‘A honeymoon.’
‘Pardon?’ He choked.
‘I have an insatiable need to have sex with you.’ She pilfered an olive from his dish to hide her smile. ‘I’m sick of how insatiable it is. I want you to pleasure me until I’m over it.’
He stared at her as if she’d just grown three heads.
‘Do you need me to repeat that?’ She popped the olive into her mouth and savoured the burst as she bit.
‘No.’
‘Do you have a problem with it?’
‘No.’
‘Great. So can you arrange it please?’
He set down his drink and cleared his throat. ‘Rome? Paris? Manhattan? You want sights, nights out dancing?’
She wrinkled her nose. ‘No frills is fine by me. Just a bed and pool will be sufficient.’
He covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes widening more. ‘You want a “no frills” honeymoon?’
‘Mmm-hmm.’ She swiped another olive. ‘I’m sure it’s just pregnancy hormones. Time will take care of it. Honestly, we can stay here if it makes you feel safer,’ she said. ‘I just want the sex.’
‘That’s your ideal honeymoon—sex on demand.’
‘Well, you’ll want to work as well, right? So do I. And I know you don’t want company most of the time, so if you like I could have a call bell.’
‘Awhat?’
‘To summon you when I need servicing.’
He didn’t move. ‘I can’t tell if you’re being serious.’
