None of this was remotely linked with emotion. She’d cut off her emotions long ago too, when she’d learned that she wasn’t lovable. Not even Cassian Corti could change that. No matter how amazing the sex might be.
CHAPTER EIGHT
LILI WASN’T ACCUSTOMEDto having nothing to do, now that she was mistress of the villa and not its housekeeper. She felt redundant even though she knew that part of the marriage agreement was a bank account set up in her name with more money than she could possibly spend. In spite of her insistence that she didn’t want anything from Cassian.
She had her own money, saved carefully over the years since she’d left home and turned her back on her inheritance. She’d started out as a cleaner and then one of the houses where she’d cleaned regularly had been looking for someone to live in and become a housekeeper and that’s how she’d become a housekeeper, eventually ending up in a position where she’d been able to interview for the job at Villa Corti.
Her restlessness and feelings of redundancy had led to trying to do some housework only to be shooed away by Eloisa and now she was engaged in the very genteel practice of cutting some blooms in the garden so she could fill vases full of flowers.
Cassian had gone to the racetrack in Monza to do some more tests on the car. Lili welcomed the space to try and process everything that had happened between them since she’d gone to him two nights ago…but she still couldn’t get her head around it.
After making love again the previous morning, they’d woken at lunchtime, scandalising Lili who had never slept at the villa much after dawn. But Cassian had insisted she stay where she was and he’d gone and brought back a tray full of antipasta and salad and bread. Sparkling wine.
They’d eaten on the terrace of Lili’s room. And then afterwards, they’d taken a shower together and Lili had been able to indulge in the fantasy she’d had that first day she’d seen him, running her hands over his formidable body. She’d revelled in exploring him, fascinated by the effect she seemed to have on him.
And he’d only touched her if she let him and increasingly, she was finding that she didn’t even want him to ask her.
He’d helped to rewire her brain and make her hungry in a way she hadn’t ever imagined could be possible.He’d helped her heal more in the last forty-eight hours than the last eight years.
That thought was monumentally overwhelming. She now knew that it wasn’t exactlytouchthat she feared as much as the thought of being powerlesss. Like she had been with the kidnappers. So even if Cassian was touching her now, once she felt as if she was in control or held the power, she was fine.
She trusted him. And on that seismic revelation, she heard a sound behind her and turned around to see the object of her very raw thoughts standing a few feet away. Wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Hair tousled. He really should come with a health warning, thought Lili and suddenly she felt shy. When this man was the one person in the world who knew her more intimately than anyone else.
He looked at her, up and down. ‘I thought the days of wearing those shapeless dresses were over.’
Lili flushed. She’d found herself reaching for comfort from her dressing room. Eloisa had faithfully hung up all of her old clothes alongside the newer ones. Dressing differently had felt like a step too far after everything else that was happening to her.In her.
Feeling defensive, Lili pointed out, ‘There’s no one here to see me.’
‘I see you.’
Cassian’s words landed like a blow to her belly. He did see her. He had seen more of her than anyone else.
He waved a hand. ‘You’re obviously entitled to dress however you please, Lili. Come with me, I have something for you.’
Perversely, because he seemed to be saying she should feel free to dress like this, now Lili felt uncomfortable and regretted not wearing something a little more form-fitting. Maybe he was looking at her and wondering what on earth he’d been doing for the last couple of nights.
She put down the basket of flowers and took off the pruning gloves and followed him, curious. He led her around to the front of the villa where a gleaming car was parked. Dark metallic silver. Not a sports car but it looked very zippy. But also roomy. She recognised the world-famous make of the car.
Cassian held something out to Lili. She looked and saw it was a key. She looked back up. ‘What’s this?’
‘A car. For you. The Fiat is the run-around for the villa so you’ll need a car of your own.’
Lili shook her head. ‘But I can’t possibly accept this, it’s too much.’
Cassian walked towards her. ‘It’s not, really. You’ll need a car to get around and if…there’s a baby.’
Lili still didn’t take the key but she walked around it now, taking in the fact that it was roomy enough for a baby seat in the back. A large boot. Practical but stylish. She noticed something else.
‘It’s electric?’
Cassian nodded. ‘There’s an electrical point in the garage housing the cars, you can use that and there are pretty good charging points in the area.’
Then he said, ‘Why not try it out and then decide?’ at the same time as he lobbed the key at her and she had no choice but to catch it on reflex.
Lili couldn’t really argue. She unlocked the car and got into the driver’s seat. Cassian got in on the other side. The dashboard wasn’t unlike how she imagined the cockpit of an airplane to look, but she figured out the basics.
‘It’s fully electric and automatic. Head out of the estate and I’ll direct you.’
