And now…as she looked out over the view, she tried her best to piece it all together. She hadn’t minded Cassian’s touch. In fact, when she’d been taking him inside her body, she’d craved to feel his hands on her, molding her hips, holding her so that he could thrust up even harder…she’d wanted him to cup her breasts, put his mouth on her…she just hadn’t been able to articulate it because she’d been dealing with everything else.
This was huge. The fact that he’d handed himself over to her and had let her dictate everything, and feel in control…to show her that it was possible to create that for herself—no wonder her mind was blown to pieces. She’d never in a million years have imagined that a man with his kind of reputation would have that consideration, or patience.
She heard a soft noise behind her and turned around to see the object of her thoughts standing in the doorway between her bedroom and the terrace. Wearing sweatpants low on his hips. Bare chest. Hair damp. Lili was instantly jealous of his shower. He was also holding two small cups and came over in bare feet. ‘Coffee?’
Lili took the cup gratefully and held it in her hands, looking at Cassian over the rim as he came and stood with his backside against the wall. He regarded her and then said, ‘Are you okay?’
She took a sip of coffee to avoid answering for as long as she could. She was okay. More than okay. This man had single-handedly—emotion rose again and she blinked her eyes quickly but not quick enough to hide it. Cassian frowned and took her cup and his own and put them down on the wall. He looked concerned. ‘Lili, did I hurt you?’
She shook her head and saw how he went pale and then she found herself reaching out to put her hands on his chest, as if she hadn’t just broken through an epic personal barrier only hours before.
‘No, you didn’t hurt me. It was just…not what I expected at all.’
‘Did you enjoy it?’
Lili blushed and ducked her head. She took her hands down. She’d never enjoyed anything more. She looked up again, noticing how Cassian’s hands were clenched to fists as if he had to restrain himself from touching her. Between her legs a pulse throbbed to life. She felt that delicious coil of tension.
She asked, ‘Can we…do it again?’
Now his face flushed a little. Eyes very silver in the dawn light. He nodded. ‘If you’d like to.’
Lili felt giddy but she forced herself to sound like she was approaching this as a serious matter. ‘I mean, we should really, if we’re going to follow the instructions of the doctor, you know, to maximise our chances…of conceiving.’ She was a total fraud. Until that moment there hadn’t been the slightest thought of a baby resulting from that conflagration last night. It had been the furthest thing from her mind.
As if colluding with her, Cassian said seriously, but with a suspicious twinkle in his eye, ‘Oh, you’re absolutely right, we should definitely do this again if we want to make sure we’re optimising our chances. We might even have to do it a few more times. Just to be sure, of course.’
Lili felt that tension spiking. ‘Now?’
A muscle twitched in Cassian’s jaw. ‘You’re not sore?’
She shook her head. She was hungry. She moved back into the bedroom and opened her robe and let it drop to the floor. She was naked. She’d never felt freer. As if a massive heavy cloud had blown away from over her head.
Cassian’s gaze devoured her as he stalked into the bedroom.
She was already slightly breathless. ‘I don’t think I need to…you know, touch myself first. I think I’m ready.’
Cassian looked at her while his hands pushed his pants down over his hips. He was naked underneath and when Lili looked down, she gulped. He was ready too.
He went and lay on her bed. He put out his arms, signalling that he wasn’t going to touch her. Her insides liquefied even more. The healing this man had precipitated just by showing her she could trust him was overwhelming.
She came and stood beside the bed. ‘Last night… I wanted you to touch me but I just couldn’t find the words at the time.’
Cassian came up on one elbow and admitted, ‘You have no idea how much I wanted to touch you. I don’t know how I lasted as long as I did. Do you want me to…now?’
Lili nodded, biting her lip, but just as his hands reached for her, she felt a frisson of trepidation and said, ‘Can we go slow…so I can get used to it?’
Cassian looked at her. ‘You can tell me to stop at any point and you tell me where you want me to touch you.’
The trepidation dissolved in a wave of heat. He said, ‘Do you want to be on top again?’
Lili nodded. She knew she still needed to feel that level of control. She got onto the bed and straddled Cassian. He lifted his hands and said, ‘May I?’
She nodded jerkily. She could feel him under her, twitching, long and thick. He put his hands very gently on her hips and it felt good to have him steady her.
Then he said, ‘Come up a little.’ His hands urged her. She obeyed, and felt him take himself in his hand before he stroked himself along the seam of her body. Lili’s head fell back. She leant backwards, placing her hands on his thighs. And then he was at her entrance and Lili looked down to see him feed his erection between her legs and she took him in with a gasp, sitting up straight again.
It was slower this time. Building. Lili moved up and down, skin becoming slick. Cassian’s hands were still on her hips. He was looking at her breasts. Lili said breathlessly, ‘You can touch me there, if you want.’
He looked at her and then down again. His hands came up to her breasts, cupping their weight, fingers moving over her nipples, making them strain and tingle. He pinched one lightly, then the other.
