He made a face. ‘Not a death wish so much as a…not caring wish.’
Lili felt a burst of compassion. Her family hadn’t died tragically but she could sort of empathise with that feeling of being beholden to no one. ‘That sounds a little like a death wish to me…’
‘Maybe. I’ve always told myself that as soon as I lose my edge, I’ll take it as a sign to go, but that hasn’t happened yet.’
‘You’ve won…six world championships?’
He nodded. They were driving into Como now, the old town. Cassian pulled into a seemingly tiny car parking space with enviable expertise. He came around to help her out again and when he held out his hand, Lili noticed that she only hesitated for a second before letting him pull her out. She let go though, as soon as she could, but she noticed that it wasn’t coming from her discomfort of being touched so much as her awareness of him and how nice it felt to have his fingers wrap around hers.
They walked down a cobbled street and Cassian stopped in front of a boutique. Lili followed his eyeline to a dress in the window. Slinky and shiny. Dark green. Straps with a deep vee and a cutout over one hip and a slit over one thigh. A dress like that filled her with equal parts awe and horror.
Cassian glanced at her. ‘You’d look good in that.’
Lili could feel heat rise, a mixture of desire and embarrassment. The thought of the sheer amount of skin on display…she shook her head. ‘No, really I wouldn’t. I’m too…big for a dress like that.’
To her relief, Cassian turned away and they continued walking, into the Piazza Duomo, a beautiful central square dominated by Como’s massive and impressive Cathedral.
They stopped at a restaurant on the corner of the square with lots of green foliage protecting the clients from passersby and prying eyes. Cassian was greeted like an old friend and they were led to a table that afforded views of the outside terrace and the piazza.
‘This is lovely,’ Lili remarked as the waiter took her napkin and flicked it open but before he could lay it on her lap and just as she realised what he was about to do and had started tensing up, Cassian had reached for it with a smile and took it, handing it to Lili when the slightly bemused-looking waiter walked away.
Cassian had nipped something in the bud before she’d even had a chance to realise that the waiter was going to invade her space like that, by placing the napkin across her lap. Lili felt shaken. But not in a bad way. Up until this moment, she realised that she’d never ever had anyone notice her fear or watch out for her, because of it.
It felt disconcerting. She forced herself to look at Cassian. ‘You must think I’m very strange.’
He took a sip of the wine that the waiter had poured. ‘No, not at all. We all have our…issues. Me having an obsession with cars and becoming a racing driver after watching my family die in a tragic accident is no less strange than your fear of being touched after whatever happened to you.’
Lili felt strangely comforted. ‘Maybe.’
The food arrived—local and seasonal—and Lili found that she felt pleasantly relaxed, eating and conversing with Cassian. He poured her some more wine after their main courses were taken away, saying, ‘I have to drive home.’
Lili might have protested but the truth was that she was enjoying the feeling of something tight unwinding inside her.
By the time they were walking back to the car she felt deliciously relaxed. The combination of the overload of adrenaline from earlier and then the wine at lunch. She wasn’t used to feeling so languorous.
It wasn’t surprising then that she fell asleep in the car on the way back and only woke up when her head jerked against Cassian’s shoulder as they came to a stop outside the villa.
She sat up. ‘I’m so sorry, I had no idea I was that tired.’
He remarked dryly, ‘It’s a long time since I put a woman to sleep without even touching her, thanks for the reality check.’
Lili’s face flamed as Cassian uncoiled himself gracefully from the car and came around to help her out. This time she put her hand in his without even thinking about it.
He said, ‘Coffee?’
She nodded. ‘Coffee would be good. I’ll make it.’
He shook his head. ‘You don’t have to, we have Eloisa.’ Who had just appeared as if summoned by a genie—exactly as Lili would have been doing if she were still housekeeper.
She smiled at the woman weakly and even though it went against the grain she said, ‘Could we have some coffee, please?’
Eloisa smiled. ‘Of course, Signora Corti, I’ll bring it out to the terrace, it’s a lovely evening.’
They went up to the terrace. The sun had set and the sky was fading from pink and oranges into dusk. Magic hour.
Eloisa appeared with coffees and some biscotti. Cassian saidgrazieand told her they wouldn’t need dinner as they’d had a late lunch. He looked at her after Eloisa left. ‘I’m sorry, I assumed you wouldn’t be hungry too.’
Lili took a sip of coffee and welcomed the return of clarity to her brain. This had had been an entirely unexpected day from that first very frank phone call with the doctor to the racetrack and lunch…
