This is the kind of woman you want your child to have for a mother.
Not that I mean Jane specifically, I just mean I feel bad that I can’t give Evelyn that.
She’s stuck with just me.
I pick up my plastic spoon and shove a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.
What am I thinking, considering casual sex with Caroline? I can’t risk another unplanned pregnancy. Evelyn isn’t even a year old and I’m a hapless single dad. I can’t let something like this happenagain.
Caroline hasn’t answered my text, which is bothering me. I shove my chair back without warning and stand straight up. “I need to head home. I’ll be in touch.”
I take Evelyn from Jane.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” she says, looking mortified.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I just remembered I have to…do something.”
Run away from my emotions.
That’s what I have to do.
I throw a one-hundred-dollar bill down on the table. “Here, get yourself some ice cream.”
Which weirdly sounds way ruder than I intend it to. I meant it as an apology for cutting the interview short, but there are suddenly tears in Jane’s eyes.
“This is a hundred dollars!” Jane sounds horrified.
“Oh, God,” I mumble under my breath.
I’m used to New York girls. They would take the money and run.
It’s a reminder that you can’t always buy your way out of every situation.
I sit back down with Evie in my lap. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m over my head,” I tell Jane in a low voice. “I do not have my shit together right now. I’m trying but suddenly having full custody of a baby is a lot. So if you want this position, this is what you’re getting—a demanding, short-tempered, busy as fuck businessman who until three weeks ago had never changed a diaper. Think about it over the weekend and if you’re still interested, text me on Sunday.” I stand back up. “Keep the money, please. I’m trying to apologize.”
She stares at me for a second, her cheeks stained pink, before shaking her head. “There’s nothing to apologize for. Have a good night, Mr. Ross.”
“Thanks, Jane, you too.”
I put Evelyn in the stroller, lock her strap, and exit the cafe. I’m halfway up the elevator when I realize I forgot my ice cream.
Fuck. Me.
When I enter my apartment, I stop short.
Caroline is asleep on the couch, curled up under a blanket.
She has her arm flung over her eyes in an attempt to block out the sun, which is cascading down on her face from the large front windows. Dust dances over her in the beams, reminding me I need a housekeeper.
So much to do.
And yet, I just stand here, gut clenched, watching Caroline sleep.
She’s beautiful.
Her lips are slightly parted and her hair is tumbling down over the pillow she’s lying on. Her hair was in a bun before, but I see her hair band is on her wrist now.
As if I wasn’t already feeling like a dick, I feel terrible all over again that I didn’t let Caroline go home. No wonder she didn’t answer my text. She fell asleep.
