“Sure, no problem. Let me order it for you.” Grayson swipes on his phone, then strides over and retrieves his luggage.
By the time we exit the airport, Jane’s car is waiting for her and Grayson gets her safely off. He gives a big sigh when he returns to us. “I wish I could teach that girl to be more sure of herself. It scares me for Evelyn. I want to raise a confident daughter.”
I kiss Evelyn’s cheek. “I think you’re going to be great at instilling confidence in her.”
We chat casually about New York and Grayson’s business as we walk to Cas’s SUV in the parking garage, but I have to admit, my curiosity is getting the better of me. Now that we don’t have Jane with us, there’s no reason we can’t talk openly about the subject I know is on all of our minds—Caroline Bell.
“How have you been?” I ask Grayson from the passenger seat. He’s in the back, next to the car seat. I turn around so I can see his expression.
“I’m miserable,” he says shortly. “I fucked everything up with Caroline and then, ultimately, that fucked everything up for you two with her as well. I was trying to do the right thing…protect myself and protect Evelyn, but my timing was off.”
“Your timing sucked ass,” I tell him flatly. “You told Caro you can’t see her anymore and that you love her practically in the same breath. The girl never had a chance to react.”
Grayson sighs and runs his fingers through his hair as Cas pulls out of the parking garage. “I know. But be honest, did you really handle it any better?”
I’m a little fucking offended. “We handled it rationally.”
“Exactly. Cas, be honest with me. Did you two hold back because you didn’t want to influence Caroline’s decision to leave or potentially to stay?”
“Of course. We wanted to respect her independence and not talk her into something she’ll regret.”
“But that’s just it—none of us really told herexactlywhat we’re offering her.” Grayson leans forward to be closer to both me and Cas. “Not with the fierceness we feel in our hearts. Not with a ‘I-will-fucking-love-you-until-the-day-you-die’. Not with a promise that what the four of us can have here and now, which is an abundance of love and laughter and ‘tear-up-the-sheets’ sex every night. Because we all got stuck in this bullshit narrative that it was casual. It was never casual. Not for me. It was different with Caroline from the first minute.”
“It was for me too,” Cas says. “We’ve shared women before in our marriage, and I never wanted to become friends with them. Cook for them. Hug them. I knew it was different almost immediately.”
I stare at my husband. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Cas shrugs. “Because you were in love with her already. I knew that. You even knew that on some level, so it’s not like I doubted you’d want to keep seeing her while she was here. But Grayson is right—we all agreed it was casual because Caroline was leaving.”
“Blah, blah, fucking blah,” Grayson says, flopping back into his seat.
That makes me laugh. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not putting up with this ‘she’s leaving’ crap anymore. I’m going to tell her exactly how I feel and that I want her to stay and if she still leaves, at least I’ll have tried. Are you with me?”
I’m already nodding. “Hell, yeah. I need to tell her how I feel. With more…heatthis time. Not the polite version. Cas, how about you?”
“I think we need to at least be able to say we tried. Everyone is tired tonight. Let’s meet at the gym tomorrow after the eleven a.m. class and figure out how we’re going to approach Caroline.”
Now I feel a spark of hope that we’ve got a shot. I nod again, vehemently. “Let’s do this.”
CHAPTER34
Caroline
I stareat my suitcase all packed in my bedroom at Fiona and Frannie’s and resent the hell out of it. I’ve always loved the freedom of living my life out of a bag. I can just pack up and go on a moment’s notice. Okay, not a moment’s notice—I usually have friends to say goodbye to and plants to rehome.
But with a few days’ notice.
I like that about my life.
Except leaving Honeysuckle Harbor this time sucks so much and my suitcase is symbolic of that. I give it a swift kick, which only serves to stub my toe.
“Ow. Damn it.”
I’m not leaving until tomorrow, but I wanted to spend the day saying goodbye to my friends and taking one last stroll along the beach. Alone. Which is actually how I spend most of my time abroad. Sure, I make new friends and hang out, but a lot of my traveling is solo, and it’s been an incredible adventure.
But now the thought of settling into a new apartment in Colombia, meeting the other teachers, the students, the parents, being the perennial new hire, learning a new city by myself feels…lonely.
