“Sooooooo,” she says, sitting up on one elbow to peer down at me. “I had an appointment with Dr. Okafor today.”
“Good. I bet she’s tired of you by now.”
“Not as tired as I am of her. We’ve seen each other, like, every week for the last two months.”
I tense, but keep my expression unchanged. I haven’t wanted to pressure Neevah at all about finishing the last scenes ofDessi Blue. The flare was so bad and so obviously triggered by the stress of filming. Dr. Okafor wouldn’t even entertain Neevah going back until we saw clear signs things were turning around for the better, in addition to making sure her body didn’t reject the kidney and that she was recovering from the surgery well. I completely agreed and have been the loudest voice making sure Neevah follows every one of the doctor’s instructions.
My tension comes from my own fear that something will go unexpectedly wrong. I’ll never forget carrying Neevah off the set, terrified about what would happen to her. I’ve actually been talking through my fears with my therapist, especially since I’ve lived through chronic and, in Mama’s case, terminal illness with a loved one before.
And Neevah is so loved.
“So what did the good doctor say?”
“I asked if I can go back to work.” Neevah glances up at me through long lashes.
“And?”
“And yes!”
“I need to talk to her for myself.”
“Canon! You don’t trust me?”
“I do, but I want to hear any parameters or restrictions from the doctor with my own ears. I’m responsible for the actors in my movies. I’d want something clearly stated in writing with anyone, not just you.”
“And would you ask the doctor if any of your other actors were cleared for sexual activity?”
“I’m sure I—”
I stare up at her, taking in the mischievous gleam in her eyes and the siren’s smile.
“Don’t play with me, Neevah.”
“I’m not.” She leans down, aligning our faces, looking deeply into my eyes. “I’m all cleared for takeoff.”
“Oh yeah?” I don’t want to pounce on her, which is what my dick tells me to do, that hard slab of steel in my pants.
“Yes.” She traces the bow of my mouth. “I love your lips.”
“Hmmm.” I settle for a grunt because anything else that comes out of my mouth would be the nastiest shit ever. I’m trying not to bethatdude, whose girlfriend recently had surgery, but who might break her the first time we have sex if not very careful.
“Let’s make love,” she whispers, her breath misting my lips, her eyes boring into mine with an intensity that goes straight for my cock.
“Are you sure?” I ask hoarsely. “Did Dr. Okafor—”
I choke on the question when she grabs me through my jeans.
“What you’re not gonna do,” Neevah says, squeezing, pulling, “is fuck me like I might break.”
For the last few months, it has felt as if shecouldbreak, and I don’t trust my hands on her. I lay back, letting her strip me, touch me, explore the muscles of my chest, my abs, trace my cheekbones and lips, but I don’t move to reciprocate. She leans down, sealing her lips over mine, slipping her tongue inside and going deep with sweeping licks, searching for and finding my reciprocal hunger. She frames my face in her hands and pulls my lip between her teeth. Bites hard. She’s provoking me. I know it, but my hands knot into fists at my sides.
“Are you sure?” My breath comes out heavy, stunted between our lips.
She stands, tugging at buttons until the panels of her sundress fall away, revealing a transparent bra and panties, sprigged with lace flowers. With her smoldering eyes snaring mine, she reaches behind her to unfasten the bra. My mouth goes dry at the sight of her breasts, the areolae a dark halo crowning their fullness. She skims her fingers over her stomach, teases the silk at her hips, and slides the underwear over the legs of a dancer. They slip down her calves and pool around her bare feet. She stands waiting at the edge of the bed.
“How do you want me, Canon?” she asks, her words an open invitation to fantasy.
My eyes rove greedily over the expanse of satiny skin. The taut muscles of her stomach and the slope of her shoulders; the elegant line of her collarbone. Her breasts are ripe and round and tipped with nipples like blackberries.
