Page 42 of Blue Lines and Lullabies

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Fifteen hours later, I’m in awe watching Cassie breastfeed our son for the first time. Max Gabriel Dawson came into the world screaming his head off. I wasn’t too keen on giving Max the middle name of Gabriel, but Cass was hellbent on it. She said she wanted him to always have a piece of me. I argued that Dawson was a good enough piece, but she solemnly said no. Mackenzie has her mom’s first name as her middle name, Nicole, and Cassie wanted Max to have a similar connection.

“Knock, knock,” I hear from the doorway. Jax peeks in. “You ready for your girl? She’s a little too excited to meet her brother.”

“Outta my way Uncle Jax! My Max needs me!” Mackenzie yells, and I see her push her way around his legs. Carrying a bear stuffed animal identical to the one Jax gave her on her first birthday, my daughter gives me a beautiful smile. “Mommy?”

“Right here, baby,” Cassie says quietly. Mackenzie’s eyes light up as she looks around me to spot her mom holding her new brother. Without asking, she takes off for the bed, climbing onto it immediately. “You’ve been waiting a while, huh.”

“Yeah,” Mackenzie says dramatically, swiping at a curl against her forehead. “I’ve been waiting my whole life, Mommy.”

As I stare at my entire world cuddled together on that uncomfortable hospital bed, I can’t help but agree with my daughter. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment right here.

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