Chapter Forty-One
Separation
I am sitting in Alan’s.
By myself.
On my own.
Well, technically Kim is at the bar getting us drinks, but still, there is no sign of Michael.
It’s strange.
Almost surreal.
But fuck does it feel good.
He’s not here, watching me, analysing me, breathing down my neck.
I haven’t felt this relaxed in a long time. Sure, I’m going to get home and have to deal with the fallout, but for now, I am just going to enjoy having a drink with my friend.
Kim comes walking back over to our table and places a glass of white wine in front of me.
“Thanks,” I say as she sits down and sets her beady eyes on me.
“Okay, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. What is going on, Lucy? No bullshit,” Kim says as she stares at me.
“Wow, talk about easing into a conversation,” I say with a nervous laugh.
“We don’t have time to ease into it. If what I think is true, then I imagine you have about an hour before you start getting all antsy and making excuses to go back home.”
Jesus, has she climbed into my fucking brain to pluck that information out?
“And what do you think is the truth?” I ask, even though I am afraid to hear her answer.
Kim holds my gaze for a moment before speaking, and when she does, I feel like the air has been knocked out of my lungs.
“I think that Michael has some sort of control over you, and you are afraid to speak up. I think that he has changed you, and to start with I thought that was a good thing, but now I’m just worried about you.” The sincere look in her eyes makes me want to burst into tears, but I manage to stop myself from showing her just how much of an emotional wreck I am.
“You don’t need to worry, I’m fine,” I insist.
“No, you’re not.”
“Michael just gets a little bit insecure sometimes.”
“Really?” she says sarcastically with an eye roll.
“Yes. I guess he’s just worried that I’m going to leave him.”
“And why should he be worried about you leaving?”
“He shouldn’t, and that’s what I keep trying to tell him.”
“Uh huh, and you think that’s healthy?”
“What is this, Kim? Twenty questions?” I try to inject a little humour, but it just falls flat.
“This is concern. This is me wanting to help you.”
