Page 82 of Addiction

I feel out of control.

I need it to stop.

Wade.

Wyatt.

Wade.

Wyatt.

Wade.

What is he doing to me?

The longer I’d watched Wade with Logan, the more infuriated I’d become with the two of them, raging with jealousy I’d had no right to feel. Even with my back turned, I’d been able to hear them, imagining Logan looking at Wade the way I’d been trying not to all week.

And when he’d said he was leaving Resilience, everything I’d been trying to fight had rushed to my core. The thought of doing this without him had suddenly become unbearable.

That jealousy had turned into a yearning I can’t avoid anymore.

I’d wanted him.

I want him.

But his words.

Damn him. Damn him for making me feel like this—for making me go back there, and for breaking down every wall I’ve ever built around my heart when it comes to him. When it comes to who I am.

When it had come to Wyatt.

Kiss me Asher. You know you want to.

Wade had said the very thing Wyatt had all that time ago, like his ghost had told him to—like he’d known it would destroy me. And the second I’d closed my eyes I’d been taken right back to that very moment...

I’d felt his touch.

I can still feel him against me.

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Breathe in…

Don’t let me die. Don’t let me die.

Kiss me Asher. You know you want to.

Don’t let me die. Don’t let me die.

You know you want to.

Asher. Please. Don’t let me die.

Like a child, I press my hands over my ears to try to stop the voices in my head. Everything is too loud. Everything hurts. The ache in my chest. The pain in my heart.

Everything.