Page 69 of Addiction

A teasing smile tugs the corner of his lips. “I don’t see you fighting me off.”

He takes my jaw in his hand, my body now trembling with want as my erection presses against the zip of my pants.

“Kiss me, Asher. You know you want to. Kiss me.”

Kiss me…

You know you want to…

Kiss me, Asher…

BANG…

BANG…

BANG…

I wake with a jolt, gasping for air as my lungs burn. Sweat covers my body and my stomach swirls with nausea as bile hits the back of my throat. Pushing back the cover, I leave my bed, racing to the bathroom and emptying the contents of my stomach in the toilet as my nightmare plays over and over in my mind.

I’ve always suffered with nightmares, but I’ve been having more of late and no matter how they start, they all end the same.

Just me and him.

One way or another it always ends with me and him: him in my arms, me failing to protect the man I’d sworn I’d never let anything happened to. We’d made a pact, but more importantly, we’d made a promise to never leave a man behind.

That day I hadn’t just lost him, I’d failed him.

I’d failed everyone.

I stand, turning the faucet to cover my hands in cool water before I splash it over my face, my heart still racing.

As I look in the mirror, all I see is Wyatt’s face staring back at me. His smug fucking laugh, the roar of gunfire, the cries as he hit the floor.

It’s all because of me.

He died because of me.

I never got to ask him to help me.

I never got to tell him that he was right.

My punishment has been the devil on my shoulder ever since, reminding me of how badly I’d failed.

I had to silence him.

I had to shut him down.

And I did it with alcohol.

Now, I have to fight like hell to remain in control. To keep him quiet. I have to have the upper hand because as I shake off my nightmare, I’ve a bigger battle on my hands as the devil starts to whisper the words I dread to hear.

“You need a drink, Asher. Just one.”

“Just one.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Wade