Page 120 of Addiction

The last thing I’d expected when I entered Hot Tuna was to see my dad standing there. Within seconds, my world had turned upside down, and all I could do was get the hell out of there. I knew it wouldn’t solve anything because the problem was always going to be there, but I’d had no control. I’ve not had a panic attack in years, and it brought it home to me that my father is the trigger to them.

“Just because he’s here doesn’t mean you have to talk with him today,” Asher says, coming up behind me to circle his arms around my waist.

I don’t know what I would have done without him the other night.

I told him the truth; I knew damn well my privacy had been exposed the second the cameras clicked the day of the gym opening. But what I’d been naïve about was thinking that my father wouldn’t show.

Having not seen him all these years had made me believe that he wasn’t bothered about where I was just as much as I’ve not been interested in what he has been doing. But I’d failed to remember that my father never misses an opportunity to belittle me or make me feel uncomfortable in front of others when he has the chance. And here we are.

“Oh, he’ll want to talk. He wouldn’t be here otherwise. It has to be today. I want him out of my life.”

“You want me to be there with you?” He rests his chin on my shoulder, and I lean my head toward his. It’s the little things when it comes to Asher that has the feelings inside ignite: his generosity, his adoration. Him. Half the time he doesn’t realize what he’s doing to me, and what he’s doing is making me fall harder every day.

“As much as I would love that and knowing my dad would hate it even more, I think it’s just got to be the two of us.”

“Okay.” He kisses my neck and places his hand over my heart. “Then just know I’m right here.”

I smile, turning my head to look at him and whisper, “You always are.”

I press my lips against his, and he holds me tighter. With Asher by my side, it gives me the confidence I never knew I needed when it comes to my dad. I don’t need anyone to fight my corner, but knowing I have someone to stand beside me when things are tough is all the strength I need.

I sigh, knowing I mustn’t hold off any longer. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it.”

He kisses me on the forehead, and I leave his office, heading down the stairs with anxiety in my stomach. I may not need anyone to fight my corner, but that doesn’t stop the feeling of dread I get inside whenever I’m around him.

My dad has his back to me as I walk up to where he is talking with Mark, and without him even saying a word, I’m already annoyed. I’m annoyed that he’s walked back into my life when he told me to stay clear of his. I’m annoyed that he’s acting as if nothing has ever happened, yet he’s blown my world apart. I’m annoyed that I’m giving him the time of day and then I remember why I need to.

Jonny.

He may not be here now to ease the tension, but it’s because of him that I’m willing to at least try, be it only for a few minutes.

“Wade.” Mark beams as he sees me approaching.

My dad turns, and I can feel his disapproving glare before I’ve even given him eye contact.

“Mark, I see you’ve met my father.”

“I have. And I can see where you get your determination and drive from. It runs in the family.”

“No. My determination and drive are purely my own. It’s from years of learning to live independently because I had no support from the people who were meant to be there. Nothing I am or have achieved is because of him.”

You could cut the instant tension with a knife, and I feel bad for landing Mark in the middle of my family affairs.

My dad laughs. “Well, he certainly gets the snark from his mother.”

Asshole.

“I get nothing from her either. The only thing that makes you my parents is the writing on my birth certificate. That doesn’t mean I’m willing to play happy families in public just to suit your reputation.” I glare at him. “Now are we doing this or what? Because the sooner you’re gone, the sooner you can continue with your life like I never existed.”

I turn and walk away without another word and head to the chill-out area to find a table in the corner.

My blood is already pumping with adrenaline and anger, frustration that I’m even giving him the time of day when I mean fuck all to him.

He walks toward me with a confidence that pisses me off, and I can tell by the look on his face that he’s not impressed with my response to Mark.

He doesn’t sit, he just stands at the opposite side of the table with his hands on his hips, looking down at me like I’m a petulant child.