Page 107 of Addiction

“That’s completely different, and you know it.” He holds my gaze and I lift my hands in surrender, knowing he’s right and that I should stop feeling bad about a situation I had no control over. I know Mark would have put them straight should any questions have been asked. And they are still here which is the main thing.

“How are you doing?”

I grin, reaching into the pocket of my pants and holding up my sobriety chip like a kid that’s been given candy. “Thirty days sober.”

“Amazing.” He smiles. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” I flick the chip up in the air and catch it, still smiling.

“You’ve changed.”

I chuckle. “I’m still the recovering alcoholic I was the last time I was here.”

“No.” He shakes his head, leaning back in his desk chair and resting his ankle over his knee. “You’re different. You don’t have that look in your eyes anymore. I can’t explain it, but you look different. Better. Happier.”

“I am happier. I’ve never been happier,” I admit, getting up and walking over to the office window to look down at the gym floor below, watching Wade with Jessica.

Mark is right: I am different. I’m different because of Wade.

“I’ve thought so many times about what it would feel like to be with someone. I’ve dreamed about it more times than I care to remember. But it’s not until you’re actually living it that you realize just how magical it is. That feeling of excitement you get in the pit of your stomach when you see them. That instant safety net that’s wrapped around you when they’re close. That joy you feel when you see them laugh. That pride you feel of knowing that they want to be with you. It’s just the never-ending drug you constantly want to feed off.” I look back at him. “Does that make sense?”

He nods. “It does. I get that with Charlie.”

“I’ve not changed. It’s Wade who has changed me. And I don’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t. Not if you keep communicating with him. That’s the biggest factor of any relationship.”

“I know.”

“Lord knows you of all people deserve happiness. Just enjoy it.”

“I will.” I have to. Because for all I was digging my heels in and hiding, now I’m out and have admitted my demons, I never want to go back down that road of uncertainty and alcohol again. This feeling I carry inside now is far better than any drink I pressed to my lips, and I intend to keep it that way.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Wade

“Wow,” Asher whispers excitedly to Ava as I blow bubbles above her.

The two of us are laid on our sides while Ava rests on her back, eyes wide and her chubby little legs kicking out in excitement as she tries to reach up to the bubbles with her hands. Nora and Grayson have invited us over for dinner along with Fiona, and Asher is more than happy to be on uncle duty while the food is being prepped.

“Can, Ava catch them?”

She coos as if she has understood what he’s said as I blow some more. Her excitement comes out in a squeal, and Asher’s grin spreads across his face. I love watching him with her.

“She is just adorable,” I say, blowing some more.

“I know she is.” He looks down at her and smiles. “So precious.”

She follows the bubbles, watching as one floats down toward her face and pops on her nose, startling her.

“Pop,” both Asher and I say in unison, and she lets out a cute little giggle.

“Babies have the best giggle,” Asher says. “No matter how bad your day might be, hearing a baby laugh is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. It’s the best form of therapy.”

“I agree.”

“I used to love hearing Nora laugh when she was this age. I’d do all kinds of silly things to get her laughing.”