Page 105 of Addiction

“And would you like to tell the group why you’re receiving your first chip of thirty days again, Asher?” Theo asks.

I don’t wish to go into detail because it’s no one else’s business, but I know they also need to hear it because I’m not the only one in this circle that has an addiction.

“Because I was stupid.” I exhale with a chuckle. “I was over nineteen months sober and thought I had the world ahead of me. But with addiction, it all comes down to knowing your truths. I thought I had a handle on mine, but I was proved wrong. Whilst I was overcoming one situation, I was burying something far more important—something I was too afraid to admit.” I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans and look over at Wade. His soft smile only encourages me.

“The truth is, I wasn’t just running from my past, I was running from the feelings I had inside when it came to someone else. When it came to who I truly am.” The entire circle watches me, and although I hadn’t wanted to go into detail, the words just seem to be falling from my lips. “You see, I wasn’t just running from the wrongs I’d done in my past. I was running because I’m gay. I’d succumbed to my demons because I thought that was the right answer when in truth, all I had to do was open my mouth and say the words. Maybe I needed to falter to say them, who knows? But all I know since doing that is that this weight has been lifted and the past month has been the best four weeks of my life. And it’s all thanks to that man there.” I point to Wade and everyone in the circle turns to look at him.

His flushed cheeks make him look sexier than ever, and those damn dimples make me want to charge over there and kiss the living hell out of him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, if ever you have something on your mind, instead of answering Temptation’s call, just use your voice. Say what’s on the tip of your tongue or what’s been pushed to the back of your mind or buried so deep in your heart. Even if it hurts, just voice it. Don’t make your addiction do it for you.”

I nod at Theo that I’m done talking, and the group erupts into applause.

“Thank you, Asher,” Theo says, giving me my sobriety chip before shaking my hand. “I’m incredibly proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

“You two are heading off now, right?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry it’s short but with the gym and everything—”

“Asher, it’s fine. The main thing is you came today. Do what you’ve gotta do.” He smiles, looking over at Wade before his eyes find mine. “He’s good for you. Remember that should you ever question your relationship.”

I nod, understanding what he’s getting at. “I know he is. I was stupid not to see it before.”

“Before, you weren’t ready.” He squeezes my arm and smiles. “Go do what you do best.”

“And what’s that?”

“Shine.”

He steps away, tapping me on the shoulder as he moves past. I take a minute to think about his words before my eyes are distracted by Wade heading toward me.

Theo is right. I hadn’t been ready, and now this is my time.

In some twisted way, I’ve had to go through everything to get where I am today. Maybe the man upstairs had a purpose Who knows? Right now, all I know is I love the feeling I get when Wade is near.

“Hey, you,” he whispers, his eyes roaming up and down my body. “You did great up there. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks. I’m pleased with myself.”

“You should be.” He smiles as his fingers trail down my forearm. “You ready to get out of here?”

We say our goodbyes to the group and head out to the parking lot. If there is one thing I adore about the connection I have with Wade, it’s his affection. Although I’d imagined it in my dreams, having it as a reality is no comparison.

The way his hand slips into mine like it was always meant to be there.

The way he reaches over while driving and rests it on my knee.

The way he kisses me without warning or holds me when I don’t even realize I need his comfort.

All of it is so natural, but what I can’t get my head around is how good it makes me feel. I’m constantly on a high, and it’s all because of him.

The urge to kiss him is too much. I pin him to the side of his car, grab his jaw and press my lips to his, slinking my tongue into his mouth. The soft groan that leaves him sends a flicker of electricity through my veins as his hands glide up my back. I fall into the intoxication that is only him. His smell. His touch. His taste.

“What was that for?” he whispers against my lips.

“It was both a thank you kiss and because I wanted to.”

“What are you thanking me for?”