Page 39 of Sick Little Devotion

“A lucrative business, huh?” Sara scoffs, shaking her head. “I don’t even know who you are, anymore.”

“Then take a seat, and I’ll tell you everything.” I gesture to the bed, and Sara reluctantly makes her way to the edge, before taking a seat. Her blue eyes stay locked on me, her entire body tense.

“Do you want me to start from the beginning? Or do you want to ask questions?” I try to give her the option to have some control over the conversation, hoping that it might make things easier for her.

“Why did you disappear?”

“Ben Grenado,” I answer flatly. “He took me for a debt Will owed him and made me work it off. I had to protect you by staying away.” It’s the truth and the only one I have to offer her. “It took me a long time.”

“Years.”

“Yeah, years,” I echo her. “I know it sounds like bullshit, but after a while, I went from being his punching bag to something more. And he gave me a portion of the territory to run and operate. That’s how I built this for us.”

She makes a face at me, her nose scrunching. “Us?”

I swallow hard, my stomach doing flips. “Yes, us, Sara. That’s all I fucking thought about. I just wanted us. That’s why I went through hell for you. I got clean without—” I stop myself. She doesn’t need to know about the sick deeds of her stepfather. “I worked hard to give you this life, so the least you can do is listen when I’m around my employees.”

“You’re a drug dealer.” Her jaw drops in understanding.

“Um, yeah.” No point in lying to her. “I also own an ecommerce business if that makes you feel better. It’s grown a lot in the last couple of years. I could probably get out of the drug business and just do that.”

Except I don’t want to.

Her top teeth chew into her bottom lip. “So you were kidnapped by some guy and held for like, what, seven years? And not once, could you reach out to me?”

Shit. She’s making it sound almost unbelievable. But she doesn’t understand the lengths I’d go—and have gone—to keep her safe. The threats were there, and at the time, there was nothing I could have done to stop something horrible from happening to her.

“It’s a complicated world, Sara,” I say softly, dropping to my knees in front of her. She winces as I place a hand on either of her knees. “But I would’ve come back sooner if I’d known that Ron was back on his feet. I just wanted to have something to give you.”

Her eyes hold mine, glistening under the warm lights.

“All I wanted was you.” Her words hit like a ton of bricks to my chest, and I tighten my grip on her knees.

“I wasn’t good enough for you then. I was… I was in some deep shit, dealing with everything that had happened to me. I had to do what was best for us.”

“And that was to disappear?” Sara pushes at my hands, but I don’t budge.

“I told you I didn’t have a choice,” I growl back at her. “And pushing me away isn’t going to change anything, Sara. You’re here to stay. I’ve made good on my word.”

She glares at me. “You’re keeping me like a prisoner. I don’t want to be your prisoner. I don’t love you anymore.”

Anger, frustration, guilt, and pure hurt ravage my chest. I get to my feet, seeing red as I do.

“I gave everything for you. I put up with that fucking asshole of a stepdad you had. You never protected me from him, did you? Did I blame you? No, but here you are, trying to hold something over my head that I can’t control. Do you know whose fault it really is? His.” My blood boils at the thought of Will. I hate him more than I hate Ron.

But I’d never tell Sara that. She has no idea of the scars that asshole left on me, and now, I’m not sure she could handle the truth.

“You’re always pointing fingers at everyone else, but yourself,” she fires back, shoving at my chest. “That’s your problem. You don’t take responsibility. All Will ever did was hit you—”

I come at her, wrapping my fingers around her neck and stopping her words. “You don’t know what I went through for you. You think Ron was bad? Maybe you should’ve taken a closer look at dear daddy. He liked to beat your mom, but he liked hurting me more.”

Sara’s eyes are alight with anger as she tugs at my grip around her throat. I’m not holding her tight enough to cut off her air supply, but it’s enough to make her uncomfortable.

“What did he do to you?” she asks bluntly.

I try to shove off the thoughts that are threatening to flood my mind. “He wanted to humiliate me. He wanted to end me for what I did to his brother. He wanted to make sure I’d never be good enough for you.” In truth, Will had done just that. And he’d succeeded in ridding Sara’s life of me. For seven years.

“You always said that, but you were so messed up on pills or whatever you could get your hands on. I didn’t even know what to think, Aiden. You were supposed to be my knight in shining armor, and instead you were just like my mother.” Her eyes fill with tears as she gazes up at me, and I struggle to breathe, my heart tearing apart at the comparison.