Page 30 of Claimed and Shamed

I feel a sense of relief wash over me. It's nice to have someone to talk to, who understands. I was a little nervous about spilling all of that out to these girls, whom I hardly knew, but they listened and they seem so genuine.

I know how Hudson and Sawyer feel about the Elites, but I truly believe that Zeta Tau is only associated with that bad stuff through the Elites and because of Tricia and her relationship with Henrik. Everyone here at Zeta Tau is so nice and welcoming, and I haven’t felt so included amongst a group of girls since my high school volleyball team. Of course I’m getting there with the current volleyball team, but this just seemed different. It is nice. Maybe everything will be okay after all.

“Do you think Henrik has anything to do with Tricia's drug problem?” I ask Melissa and the rest of the girls, trying to change the subject.

Melissa looks at me skeptically.

“I don't know. Do you?” one of the other girls asks.

“I don't know either, but it just seems like a possibility,” I reply.

“I’ve heard he's been in trouble for that kind of thing, before,” Melissa says thoughtfully. “But I don't know if he'd be dumb enough to bring it into the sorority house.”

“Yeah, that's possible,” I say. “But it's still a little weird, don't you think, that he is always around when bad things happen?”

“Definitely,” Melissa agrees. “I just hope Tricia gets the help she needs.”

“Me too,” I say. “I hate seeing people go down that road.”

Melissa and the other girls all nod in agreement.

“So do I. It's just so sad,” one of them says, shaking her head.

“Hudson was so considerate with the way he helped Tricia. I had no idea what to do and he took charge. I was glad to have someone giving some direction,” Melissa tells me and the other girls, as if she is putting in a good word for him. I vaguely remember him directing Melissa and telling her to take Tricia to the hospital.

“I heard that Tricia was a pothead, even before she joined Zeta Tau…” one of the girls confesses to us, “…but now I wonder if it’s gotten worse since she’s been seeing Henrik”.

“I wonder where everyone is getting all the drugs from,” I add. I have my suspicions after last night’s conversation with Henrik. I can see why Sawyer and Hudson were crazy worried about me joining Zeta Tau, but I still believe it’s just the Elites that are the problem. Or maybe just Henrik himself.

I sigh, feeling overwhelmed.

“I feel as if everything is getting so complicated. My life feels like a long string of confusion and conflicts. I don't know what to do.”

Melissa puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Just take it one day at a time. We'll get through this together.”

I want to ask Hudson what I should do since our relationship is shifting, and think he might have some advice. I decide to text him, as the girls start talking about upcoming pledge events.

Hey, I want to talk to you after your next fight. I need some advice. I type.

Actually, I had to cancel the fight. My parents want me home for a family dinner, comes his reply.

Oh, okay. That's too bad. Maybe we can talk later then.

I’m disappointed that I won’t get to see him or his fight, but I know how his family dinners can be and how his parents will probably show up to the school if he tries to miss one.

Sure. Btw, Sawyer saw your name pop up on my phone and said to tell you he said hi, he adds after a few seconds.

Oh, is Sawyer with you?

Yeah, my parents invited him too, apparently. Is everything okay though?

It's nothing really important. I text.

I start to get cold feet about talking to Hudson and start feeling insecure again, especially because it kind of stings that Sawyer was invited to Hudson’s parents. It just shows me how welcome Sawyer is in Hudson’s family, and how they always overlook me. My successes don’t matter to them, just like Hudson’s don’t. I hardly exist to them. They would probably never approve of me being with their son.

Are you sure? I'm here if you need me. His thoughtful text surprises me a little, but makes me feel good too.